Betrayed by My Neighbor (page 2 of 2)

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Behavioral Issues

Question
My supervisor wears clothing that shows a little more chest than maybe she ought. She is very professional in her duties and has become a mentor to me. I'm not offended. Hey, I'm a guy. But I actually think it's holding her back at work because the women talk and the men ogle. Is there some way for a subordinate to tactfully handle this situation?
-- Looking Out for Her

Dear Looking
Stop looking, and by all means stop thinking about handling. She's your supervisor. It's not your place to comment on her attire or to concern yourself with advancing her career. If you want to talk to someone, talk to the ogling men and tell them to grow up and get back to work.

Question
Help settle a dispute between my mother-in-law and me. What's proper etiquette? Do you have to write a note if you thank someone in person for a gift? I say no! My dear sweet m-in-l is old school. She says, "You have to send a thank-you letter whether or not you have kissed, hugged and said thanks." Who's right?
-- New School

Dear New,
When in doubt, go old school. No civilization ever collapsed because people were too civil!

Question
We have a house rule: No smoking -- and we mention it when folks come over. Twice now we've invited new friends to parties and afterward smelled smoke in the bathroom. I'm sure it's the wife of the new couple. I like her and don't want to be confrontational. Should I install airplane smoke alarms in the bathrooms?
-- Smoke Clouds

Dear Clouds,
Without busting your new friend, give her one more shot. Next time she comes over, make it a point to show her a place outside where a smoker might comfortably sit. If she doesn't get the hint and you again detect smoke in the bathroom, stop the invitations and meet her in a smoke-free café.

Question of the Month
Two years ago, my husband had an affair, and we separated for ten days. I confided in a neighbor who'd been through the same thing. My husband and I went to counseling and patched it up. Later I learned my "confidante" had spread the word around. Now I think everyone is talking about me. I'm furious and so embarrassed, I want to move. How should I react to her and others?
-- Red-Faced

Dear Red,
Believe me, they aren't all talking about you! Your neighbor's betrayal compounded your husband's -- but be clear about which one is still upsetting you. Go back to that counselor and sort this thing out. If that patch with your husband is really holding, you don't have to sweat the petty talk.
From Reader's Digest - July 2007
 
Must Read Should Everyone Read This? Yes! I vote for this story

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My brother-in-law, Steve, and one of his fellow soldiers were assigned to wax the floors of their barracks. They'd heard that if they got the wax really hot, it would just glide across the floor, cutting their labor time in half. Unfortunately, as they were heating the can of wax with a cigarette lighter, it caught on fire, setting off alarms and attracting firetrucks, ambulances and the police. Steve had to report to his sergeant's office immediately. Assuming he was in big trouble, he took a deep breath as he faced his superior. But before Steve could say a word, Read More

-- Jeremy Noble