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Family Communication Troubles
Questions about pets, parents, partners or office politics? E-mail Jeanne Marie Laskas at advice@rd.com Sending gives us permission to edit and publish.Question
It was my idea to have a family reunion, and I called my younger sister. She loved the idea and then, without consulting me, ran with it. The next thing I knew, the party was planned down to the napkins. I asked why she didn't include me. She said if I don't like it, I don't have to come. I'm fuming. Should I stay away or go?
-- Party Pooper
Dear Pooper,
Oh, go and have a good time, secure in the knowledge that you had a great idea. Getting credit is nice, but a united family is worth a little swallowed pride. The next time you have a brainstorm, however, think twice before you share it with Sis, who seems to be suffering from younger sibling syndrome.
Question
When my daughter started college, my wife and I bought her a cell phone for emergencies. But we've found she spends an incredible amount of time on it. Even though she lives in our home, it's like we no longer exist. I understand it's common for teenagers to always be on the phone, but it's like an addiction. Everywhere she goes -- store, work, college -- the cell phone is glued to her ear. Weeks go by and we don't talk. What can we do?
-- Phone Fatigued
Dear Fatigued,
If you're paying the phone bill, stop funding her "addiction" (one that has hooked teenagers since Mr. Bell invented the ring thing). The only difference today is that phones have invaded every corner of social space. My advice for dealing with Miss Chatty Cathy is to make her habit work for you. Draw up a "phone contract" stipulating that if she can't talk to you face to face, you will call her every day at a predetermined time to ask her about her worries, her fears and her joys. Keep that line of communication open, no matter what the cost.
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