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Monkey-in-the-Middle

Question
I have a friend who just drains me. She divorced three years ago and has never recovered. Whenever we're together, she's in tears. Every conversation is about her. She always wants something from me and even asks if I'll help around her house. If I don't, I feel guilty. Should I just not answer her calls or see her anymore?
-- Bad Friend

Dear Friend,
You sound like a giving person, but your friend's dependency on you is allowing her to spin her wheels in a rut of self-pity. Stop playing nursemaid to her misery. Say you're not a qualified therapist and refer her to the American Psychiatric Association for a professional. Then change the subject. Suggest she try a hobby, join a group and get a pet.

Question
You probably hear this from girls all the time -- "I'm fat." But I'm a guy, 16 years old and way overweight. I've tried to stop eating; I starve for a few days and then grab the snack packs. I'm starting to give up and get down on myself. I don't want to look like I do. What's the secret? How can I lose?
-- Dumpy

Dear Dumpy,
You probably hear this all the time too: Eat less, exercise more. It's not much of a secret, but it's the truth. Good for you, though -- you've realized your starve-and-binge behavior is dangerous. I hope you've told your parents about it. Now check out Weight Watchers or go online and find some self-monitoring program that suits a guy like you.

Question
I work at a realty firm owned by a husband and wife with communication problems. He wants me to check with him to approve anything she asks me to do. This is counterproductive and puts me in the middle of their arguments. And it's undermining the wife's trust in me. How do I get the two of them to work out their differences without using me as a buffer?
-- Ping-Ponged

Dear Ponged
First, realize you are the buffer. Tell them honestly, together, that they've put you in a bind. But your insight likely isn't going to change their communication and trust issues. Start documenting all your conversations with both so that if the situation ever blows up, you'll have a record to demonstrate your innocence. Meantime, start looking for another job.

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