From 
Del.icio.us
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
TwitThis
Question
We vacation with friends. Every year they forget something, go to one of those mega-stores and "buy" a jacket for cold weather or whatever is missing -- then return it at the end of the trip. They say they aren't harming anyone -- the store has a no-questions-asked return policy. I think this is like theft on the layaway plan. What do you think?
-- Petty Crime
Dear Petty,
No fair! Your friends are taking advantage of a generous customer care policy. And, somewhere along the line, the rest of us are paying for it. You can be sure the store passes along the extra costs of returns to team players like you and me. We should all cry "Foul!" You should too. Tell them you object.
Question
When my marriage ended in my mid-40s, I went to our associate pastor for counseling. He helped me feel wanted and safe. Though he's married, we became intimate. Now he wants to stop seeing me. I'm devastated. How should I handle this?
-- Betrayed
Dear Betrayed,
Professionals who deal with people during vulnerable times have a moral responsibility to protect them, not exploit them. This guy failed you and your church. Find a therapist who can help you mend your twice-broken heart. Stay away from the parasite and consider reporting him to church authorities.
Question
OK, so I'm 15 and I have a teen problem. Some friends think I ditched them; now they're dissing me all over the Internet. The messages are getting nasty. I even talked to my parents about it (I felt that bad). What can I do to make them stop and be friends again?
-- Touchy
Dear Touchy,
Cyber-bullying is a new, dirty business. You were right to tell your parents. Stop for a minute -- do you really want this bunch for friends? Whether you did or didn't ditch them, maybe you should now. Only count as friends those who treat you kindly -- and do the same in return. Go out for a new sport, join a new club. Find friendlier friends.
Question
We have two small children, five months and two and a half. My in-laws live far enough away so that when we see them we stay overnight. They have a small house and a large, smelly dog. And the place is not the cleanest or childproofed. How can I tell them we'd prefer to stay in a hotel?
-- Squeamish
Dear Squeamish,
Don't. Consider the big picture. Which makes better memories for a kid: a squeaky-clean hotel with sterile floors and climate control, or Grandma's history-stuffed home, occupied by Grandpa and a big, stinky dog? Hey, they raised your husband and didn't mess up too bad. Bring your own childproofing precautions and go stay, so your kids can experience the wonder of family.
Question
My daughter is getting married for the second time and wants to have showers, a wedding party, etc., just like before. Family and friends gave gifts not so very long ago. I feel like this is hitting people up one too many times. What's the proper thing to do?
-- Doubtful Dad
Dear Doubtful,
Brides don't throw showers; their friends do. This is, after all, a happy occasion, and on happy occasions people like to see other people unwrap stuff! Forget the grouches who might feel "hit up" this time -- they probably felt that way the first time. The proper thing to do is proudly march your daughter down the aisle, show her your support, lift her veil and give her a big smooch.
Question
When my wife and I retired to the West Coast, we discovered that we were no longer "Mr." and "Mrs." People we met for the first time in banks, doctors' offices and local businesses call us by our first names like old buddies. And if they don't know our names, it's "you guys." What advice do you give to correct this practice in a polite way?
-- Formal Joe
Dear Mr. Joe,
I feel your pain. Assumed familiarity has taken over our whole culture, and it's very troubling to those of us who are more comfortable being proper. There's only one dignified way to correct the practice -- with kindness and example. So when the bank teller asks, "Joe, would you like to cash this check?" say: "Yes, Ms. Jones; yes, I would."
Advertisement 
