How Important Are Grades?

Are you a mom on the move? Here's some tips on how to handle situations that seem impossible.

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PHOTOGRAPHED BY FRANK VERONSKY
Jean Marie Laskas is the author of Growing Girls (Bantam).
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Insulted Co-Worker, Boorish Behavior and Expensive Friends

Questions about pets, parents, partners or office politics? E-mail Jeanne Marie Laskas at advice@rd.com Sending gives us permission to edit and publish.

Question
I wrote an e-mail to a friend that made a disparaging remark about a co-worker. I stepped away from my desk, leaving the message on my screen. When I returned, the maligned party was in my cubicle. He’d obviously read the e-mail. I apologized profusely and said I was wrong. He said it was okay, but I know it’s not. Is there anything else I should do or just suck it up and figure it will pass with time?
-- Feeling Like a Fool

Dear Fool,
They say when you get yourself into a hole, stop digging. You have done all you can to apologize for your poor judgment and unkindness; you have said that what you did was wrong and you are sorry. Forgiveness, if it comes, is now up to your co-worker.

Question
My husband keeps bringing up the idea of going to that restaurant with waitresses in tight, tiny tops. I say it’s rude to drag your wife to a place where all he’ll do is ogle the girls. He says I’m uptight. What should I say to him?
-- Check, Please

Dear Check,
Well, you could lecture him for being boorish, immature and insulting. But that’s never good for a marriage. Next time he brings it up, roll your eyes and ask him if he’d like sitting in a booty bar with a bunch of women wildly screaming at a male stripper. I bet he’ll settle for takeout.

Question
Destination weddings at resorts are the rage in my group. Flights, hotels and carfare cost beaucoup bucks! A couple ask a lot of their guests to see them exchange their vows. Am I wrong in thinking spending thousands on travel justifies a small gift, if any?
-- Tight Budget

Dear Tight,
If you think enough of the couple to attend their nuptials, then, yes, you need to bring a gift. If getting to the wedding is blowing your budget, make a quilt or frame a special photo. There are lots of ways to say “congratulations!” that don’t involve big bucks. If it’s really too much for you, don’t go.

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