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New Recruits, Nosy Neighbors and Helpless Men
Questions about pets, parents, partners or office politics? E-mail Jeanne Marie Laskas at advice@rd.com Sending gives us permission to edit and publish.Question
I trained a new hire, and at first he was very appreciative. He's hard-working and finishes assignments on time, but he's become very secretive and protective. We're at the same level and share some tasks, but when I ask him questions, he stalls. And if I send e-mails, he never answers them. I don't want to bitch to the boss, so how can I get this guy to open up?
-- Office Pal
Dear Pal,
This guy is not your friend; he's your rival. Talk, don't gripe, to your mutual boss about smoothing the workflow. But remember: Some people are more interested in getting ahead than getting along. You can't change this guy. Do unto him as you would have him do unto you, but watch your back -- and go out for a beer with your real friends.
Question
I live in a duplex. The lady upstairs is a school band director, and bangs the piano and blows a horn until midnight. Complain to the landlord? Tried that. He's her brother. What can I do to make my voice heard through the din?
-- Earache
Dear Earache,
I can't imagine an apartment so magnificent, convenient and inexpensive to justify such a noisy neighbor. A call to the cops might quiet her down. Remind Big Bro landlord there are laws governing tenants' rights. Otherwise, tell him, "Thank your sister -- I'm outta here."
Question
I'm dating a woman with two sons in their 20s who live with her. They're good guys but neither helps around the house or contributes financially. She's a schoolteacher and does the shopping, cleaning and her class prep until 10 p.m. She's working herself to death. I've told her it's them or me. How can I get her to act?
-- Fair Share
Dear Share
The last thing this woman needs is another male making demands. If you really care about her and want to have a future with her, get in there and lend a hand -- make dinner, vacuum the rug, wash the windows. Show her and her boys what a real man can do and be.
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