No Family Is Unbreakable (page 2 of 2)

Suicide, Leeches and Affairs

Question
I used to consider my family unbreakable. Then a cousin committed suicide. In response, her sister took an overdose of sleeping pills and nearly died. The shock waves are still spreading. I'm so nervous about all my loved ones. How can I rebuild a wall of protection around my family?
-- Fragile

Dear Fragile,
No family is unbreakable. No person can build a wall to hold out suffering. Every family encounters its share of tragedy, joy, tears and triumph. Consider this ordeal a way to develop endurance and flexibility, to strengthen yourself for difficult times and to bounce back when they've passed. It is a painful fact, but you can't build emotional muscle without hardship and testing.

Question
I'm a widow, 55, and have lived with a man for five years. It started out romantically, but when he turned down my proposal for marriage we became celibate. My decision. So now we're roommates in my house -- where I do all the housework and gardening, as well as hold down a job. A while back, my roomie gave me $1,000 for an investment, which I've sold at a profit. Now he wants his money back. I figure all I do for him entitles me to the money. Think this is the way to balance the books?
-- Landlord

Dear Landlord,
I think you are spurned, angry, disappointed and spiteful -- justifiably perhaps -- but I think you believe keeping this man's $1,000 will help you even the score. It won't. Let the dough and Mr. Leech go. Get out of this ridiculous situation. Give him his cash back in exchange for packing his bags and moving out.

Question of the Month
We ran into the husband of a friend having a private dinner with a young woman. We said hi, he said hi, and that was it. He didn't introduce his friend. My gut feeling is this is a midlife crisis. I feel obligated to tell my friend about this encounter, but am worried that it could cause heartache or break up their family. My husband says stay out of it. What do you say?
-- A Friend

Dear Friend,
I say, stay out of it. The truth is, you have no idea what, if anything, is going on. I'm a big believer in listening to my intuition -- but only as it pertains to my own relationships. Gut feelings about other people's relationships are the stuff of gossip better left in the gutter.

From Reader's Digest - November 2006

 

• • Friendship
• • Relationships
• Ask Laskas
• Marriage
• Family Life

• Underperforming Colleague Wants a Reference
• You've got questions. She's got answers.
• 
• Sister's Parenting Style
• You've got questions. She's got answers.
• 
• Rude Husband
• You've got questions. She's got answers.
• 

“ Stuck inside? Walk on your treadmill or, if you don't have one, do arm circles or march in place during TV commercials. ”

• See All Tips