How Important Are Grades? (page 2 of 2)

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Mom on the Move, Credit Stealer and Impossible Standards

Question
My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and she enjoys her life very much. We’ve been married 14 years, and my only complaint is she loves to move furniture around—I mean constantly. She rearranges our rooms at least three times a week. It can be very frustrating and confusing at times when things are never in one place. Isn’t this weird? Any ideas on how to halt her?
-- Need a Map

Dear Map,
Fourteen years, and this is your only complaint? Count your blessings. Then ask yourself what all this furniture moving is doing for your wife. At a minimum, she’s a person who craves change. Be glad she hasn’t tried to change you. And start working together on ways to develop real change and excitement in her life and in yours.

Question
I belong to a group with a certain vivacious member who constantly tells stories to make herself look good—sometimes at the expense of others. There never was a great idea that she didn’t think was hers, and she always manages to take credit for other people’s work. How can we diplomatically handle this person?
-- Clubwoman

Dear Clubby,
In business, a boss is the best judge of credit theft. In volunteer groups, it takes a bit more diplomacy. Why don’t you keep minutes of who suggested what, and appoint someone to officially announce credit for work when a project is done. Every organization has its blowhard, some more likable than others. If you can’t get control of the purloined praise, you’ll have to either grin and bear it or quit the club.

Question of the Month
My son and his wife have a rule for their kids: You get all A’s or you’re grounded. They’re only 10 and 13, do their homework and try their best, but I see the pressure on them and I worry about what it’s doing to them. Should I speak up?
-- Grade C Granddad

Dear Granddad,
The Prime Rule of Grandparenting: Don’t meddle in the way your kids raise their kids. But you are allowed one pass at sharing wisdom. At some mellow moment, when you’re all philosophical, tell the daddy and mommy that experts say to set high standards, reward achievement but not to punish poor performance. Say your piece, then zip it. Your job is to let your grandkids know you think they’re A+.
From Reader's Digest - October 2007
 
Jeanne Marie Laskas is the author of Growing Girls (Bantam).
Must Read Should Everyone Read This? Yes! I vote for this story

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