How Important Are Grades?

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Insulted Co-Worker, Boorish Behavior and Expensive Friends

Questions about pets, parents, partners or office politics? E-mail Jeanne Marie Laskas at advice@rd.com Sending gives us permission to edit and publish.

Question
I wrote an e-mail to a friend that made a disparaging remark about a co-worker. I stepped away from my desk, leaving the message on my screen. When I returned, the maligned party was in my cubicle. He’d obviously read the e-mail. I apologized profusely and said I was wrong. He said it was okay, but I know it’s not. Is there anything else I should do or just suck it up and figure it will pass with time?
-- Feeling Like a Fool

Dear Fool,
They say when you get yourself into a hole, stop digging. You have done all you can to apologize for your poor judgment and unkindness; you have said that what you did was wrong and you are sorry. Forgiveness, if it comes, is now up to your co-worker.

Question
My husband keeps bringing up the idea of going to that restaurant with waitresses in tight, tiny tops. I say it’s rude to drag your wife to a place where all he’ll do is ogle the girls. He says I’m uptight. What should I say to him?
-- Check, Please

Dear Check,
Well, you could lecture him for being boorish, immature and insulting. But that’s never good for a marriage. Next time he brings it up, roll your eyes and ask him if he’d like sitting in a booty bar with a bunch of women wildly screaming at a male stripper. I bet he’ll settle for takeout.

Question
Destination weddings at resorts are the rage in my group. Flights, hotels and carfare cost beaucoup bucks! A couple ask a lot of their guests to see them exchange their vows. Am I wrong in thinking spending thousands on travel justifies a small gift, if any?
-- Tight Budget

Dear Tight,
If you think enough of the couple to attend their nuptials, then, yes, you need to bring a gift. If getting to the wedding is blowing your budget, make a quilt or frame a special photo. There are lots of ways to say “congratulations!” that don’t involve big bucks. If it’s really too much for you, don’t go.

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Pulling into my service station 45 minutes late one morning, I shouted to the customers, "I'll turn the pumps on right away!" What I didn't know was that the night crew had left them on all night. By the time I got to the office, most of the cars had filled up and driven off. Only one customer stayed to pay. My heart sank. Then the customer pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to me. "We kept passing the money to the last guy," he said. "We figured you'd get here sooner or later."

-- Jim Novak

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