From 
Del.icio.us
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Question
My four-year-old nephew is a terror. He hits kids, throws toys, defies and screams at adults. My sister shrugs it off as "typical boy behavior." Now he is testing the limits with his grandmother. I don't like to interfere, but this is where I draw the line. Should I get involved? What can I do to clue my sister in?
-- Stern Auntie
Dear Auntie,
First of all, this is not typical boy behavior. Your sister may let her son act like a little monster, but you don't have to. Children need grownups to set boundaries for them. Start by standing up for Grandma. Tell him, "Stop it," whenever he shows disrespect or disobeys her. Say, "That's not allowed!" Maybe your sister will learn something, too, seeing you exercise reasonable authority. If not, go out and buy her a book on parenting.
Question
My husband is the most negative person alive. It's driving me nuts. He can turn any situation or discussion into a disaster. If I disagree, that leads to an argument and he tries to prove he's right. If I try to change the subject, he gets angry. What can I do to defeat the defeatism?
-- Earache
Dear Earache,
Sounds like Dr. No needs reassurance and an audience, so he picks a fight with a safe opponent -- you. Try an experiment: Whenever he issues a prophecy of doom, agree with him. Say, "That's right, dear." He'll have to stop, or find another way to yank your chain.
Question
Six months ago I moved from a small city to a rural town in the Midwest where the culture is different. Most of the kids are out smoking at lunchtime, drinking on Friday nights, and are hooked up sexually with someone. Teachers and adults are friendly to me -- but no one my age. I've started hanging with a few bad characters, but I'm beginning to feel false to myself. What can I do? Go along, or be alone?
-- Nonsmoker
Dear Nonsmoker,
Have you really met every kid in town? Listen, there must be plenty of guys your age who'll think you're cool. Be patient and don't waste your time with bad actors. Get involved in sports or other activities you enjoy where you can meet people who like what you like. Remember this life lesson: When you start feeling false to yourself, you are. It's time to get real.
Question
When I bought my house ten years ago, I liked the privacy of its eight-foot stockade fence on three sides. Then a new person moved in next-door and asked me to remove it. She says it's ugly and calls it a "hate fence." Now she's stirring up trouble with my neighbor on the other side. How can I handle this kind of attack?
-- Fort Apache
Dear Fort,
You and the fence were there first. She didn't have to move in. You can continue to ignore Nettlesome Neighbor, or ask her to show you the designs of a more attractive tall fence she'd like to put up -- at her cost. You could also consider adding a flowering trumpet vine or a climbing rose to the stockade. A show of flowers is a way to win over neighbors.
Question
After years of her pleading and crying, I finally gave in and allowed my teenage daughter to have a cat. I now regret my decision. As someone who needs to have a clean, tidy house, I no longer feel relaxed in my own home. If I tell her, Sorry, the cat has to go, she will be heartbroken. What can I do?
-- Feline Phobic
Dear Phobic,
I confess! I'm an animal lover and on your kid's and the cat's side. Tell your daughter your problem. Ask her to help you come up with a plan. Perhaps you can agree to allow the cat only in certain areas of the house. This is a chance for your daughter to develop the sense of responsibility owning a pet requires. Clean the litter box. Save the cat!
Question of the Month
I own a small business. Internet competition forced me to reduce staff from eight to three. The last to go was the father of a high school pal. Now my old friend is angry and won't return my calls. I'm upset, too, but I had to do it. Is there anything I can do?
-- Busted Boss
Dear Boss,
Your pal is acting like he's still in high school. You don't need to justify making a tough business decision to him. For auld lang syne, send him a note and say you want to discuss it face-to-face. Then if he doesn't call back or meet you halfway, I'm afraid old acquaintances must be forgot.
Advertisement 
Your Comments
See all
...
Post your commentCancel