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Crises at All Ages
QuestionMy middle-aged husband just bought -- yes -- a red sports car. Now he drives like a maniac, speeding and cutting in and out of traffic. He scares me to death. I told him I won't ride with him. He says these cars are made to be driven, and if I don't like it, he'll take his friend Vicky for a ride. I said fine, I'll follow them in my car. That made him mad. The situation is causing road rage in our household. Am I right to raise the caution sign?
-- White Knuckles
Dear Knuckles,
Fast cars and wild women -- sounds like adolescent dreams to me. I'd guess the Vicky thing is just a tease; the NASCAR fantasy, on the other hand, is dangerous. As some men age, they compensate with bigger, faster toys. But he's putting you at risk and breaking the law. In a calm moment outside the car, tell him without recriminations that he's scaring you. Suggest he join a car club: one that promotes safe driving.
Question
Whenever my son hangs out with this one friend down the street, he comes home with a bad attitude -- bossy, arrogant and nasty to me, my husband and my daughter. He's only eight. How do we discipline him so he'll stop acting like a little barbarian?
-- Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Primitive regression is contagious. When one eight-year-old boy discovers his inner cave man, he likes to initiate others into the tribe. Don't over-worry -- boys will be boys -- but it's time to halt the Huns. You and your husband should meet the parents down the street. Ask them if they've noticed similar barbarous behavior in their son after the two boys play, then come up with a plan to either tame the wild beasts or limit their time together.
Question of the Month
An old friend has been divorced for two years. Recently, his ex-wife totaled her car and he asked me if I could drive her home from work. Now I think she's showing interest in me, and I'm attracted to her. I've always been loyal to my friend. I know he still loves her. Would dating her be a betrayal?
-- In the Middle
Dear Middle,
You say you're "in the middle," but I'd say you're dangerously close to slipping off the edge. There are lots of fish in the sea; why drop your line in waters your friend is still fishing?
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