Should I Apologize to My Ex? (page 2 of 2)

Sex and Lies

Question
I'm 14. The walls in our house are thin, and I can hear my parents in their bedroom. I know it's natural, and I don't worry about other people having sex, but this makes me so nervous, I'm getting migraines and losing sleep. I can't talk to my friends, much less to my folks. What can I do?
-- Feeling Weird

Dear Feeling,
Yes, it's natural, and yes, you can talk to your folks. Have a heart-to-heart with your mom about, you know, and mention your concerns. Something can be done about the sound. Your parents need privacy too. And there are always earplugs.

Question
My best friend is lots of fun -- and a compulsive liar. She makes up stories about her childhood, her family, everything. If I point out a contradiction, she just brews another lie. I'm worried about what she may be saying about me. What should I do?
-- Lie Detector

Dear Detector,
There are different types of friends. Some we trust with our innermost secrets. Then there are those who are a blast to go shoe shopping with. Put Ms. Fib in this second category and keep her there. Others probably have her pegged and wouldn't believe anything she says about you. Meantime, why not suggest she take up writing novels? If she redirects some of those wild stories to the page, maybe she'll let up on her friends.

Question of the Month
I've always been a kidder. Lunching recently with a friend, I made a crack about how slowly and clumsily she was digging through her purse to pay her bill. People in line laughed. When we left, my friend said if we were dating, it would be over. I was floored. She said no one likes to be the butt of a joke to amuse strangers -- who only laugh out of embarrassment. I've joked this way my whole life. Now I realize I've hurt people all along. How can I make amends?
-- The Clown

Dear Clown,
It's never easy to face one's faults. All you can do now is apologize to those you've hurt, and find a new form of humor. For future reference, a teasing remark should be based in fact and should depict a quality the other person is aware of and, most important, feels good about. Making a joke about my brother's big nose is funny because he loves his big nose; making a joke about my friend's recent weight gain is not funny unless she actually wanted to retire her skinny jeans. Comedy has an edge but shouldn't cut a friend.

From Reader's Digest - December 2007

 

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