From 
Del.icio.us
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Question
Who can figure out the male species? I'm an older woman in a relationship with, you guessed it, a man. Mine has a problem keeping his eyeballs in his head. When we're out, he ogles every woman around-at restaurants, theaters, parties. He claims his big baby blues just roam on their own. Should I look the other way, or give him a black eye? I got a good left hook
--Lefty
Dear Lefty,
Dating Rule No. 1: Pay attention to your date! Tell Mr. Wandering Eyes that going out with him is about as much fun as slopping hogs. Explain your reason -- once. Tell him you'll go out with him when, and only when, he's got control over his obnoxious instincts. If he balks, remember this: You deserve better.
Question
My daughter has been out of college for three years and is trying to break into movies. My wife and I pay for her health insurance and give her a stipend to help cover rent because her work is so irregular. We can afford it in the short term, but we are trapped between concern for her well-being and wondering if we are doing too much and inhibiting her independence. When should we cut the apron strings?
-- Protective Parent
Dear Protective,
Time's up! You've been supportive parents and proved you believe in her. Now for some tough love. Your daughter will never learn to live in the real world if you shield her from it. Lots of aspiring actors figure out ways to pay the bills while pursuing their dreams. Go to the bookstore, buy some biographies of famous actors who made it despite the odds, wrap up the books in pretty paper, and give the package to your daughter while you shove her out the door -- with a kiss.
Question
I'm getting to a point where I want to leave my husband because he smokes so much. We have a boy and a girl, 10 and 11, both with terrible allergies. He also has health problems related to smoking. The kids constantly beg him to quit. He promises to, but then doesn't. I got him patches; he won't use them. He claims he can stop cold turkey. What I can do?
-- Lost in a Cloud
Dear Cloud,
People who use the cold turkey excuse never intend to put the bird in the oven. Your husband needs help getting started. If he won't use patches, refer him to a quitters' group or a counselor. To show how serious you are, maybe tell him what you told me: You're on the verge of moving out to protect your health and your children's. And next time the kids are sick, ask him to take them to the doctor. The doc can lay the facts before him and outline a program to break the habit.
Question
I'm the sole assistant in a small office. My supervisor is frequently out, and I support another person who doesn't like my boss and wants things done his own way. The two of them don't talk, and I end up doing everything twice -- making two lists, reports, filing systems. Is there some way out of this double bind?
-- Double Exposure
Dear Double,
There's an old parable that says you can't serve two masters. So remember -- it's your boss who gives you assignments, judges your performance and decides whether your time is being well spent. Tell your boss about your double bind and see if he can work out an acceptable arrangement with his colleague.
Question
I watched a horror movie, which my parents forbid, behind their backs. Now I see dead people at the foot of my bed and can't sleep. I'm not a kid; I'm 14. What's wrong with me?
-- Spooked
Dear Spooked,
You're scared -- and also feeling guilty for disobeying family rules. The fear will pass. Guilt sticks. Next time mind your parents.
Advertisement 
Your Comments
See all
...