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HOW TO DO IT: It's a little-known secret, but many large companies like Bank of America, US Airways, Verizon, Washington Mutual, and Best Buy have a firewall of high-ranking customer-service personnel surrounding the executive offices. To reach them, find the number for corporate headquarters and the name of a top-ranking executive. The CEO works nicely. Call the main operator and ask in your most professional voice to be transferred to his or her office. Once there, quickly pitch
your case to the assistant. She will likely hand you over to an elite squadron equipped with customer-service superpowers.
WHY IT WORKS: The job of the executive customer-service team is to solve all problems in their path. They like to make customers happy. They also like to keep you from bothering busy executives, complaining to regulatory agencies, and blabbing to the local news.
ONE EXAMPLE: Joe W.'s elderly, disabled mother was about to have her electricity shut off. That meant no air-conditioning in Atlanta, where temperatures were hovering around 100 degrees. She freely admitted to fumbling her checkbook calculations, and a $400 overdraft wound up becoming a $1,040 debt after Washington Mutual hit her with 20 overdraft fees. Two of the bounced checks were made out to the electric company.
While Joe's mother definitely made a mistake, banks will often waive one set of fees a year for good customers. Pleas for mercy got only two overdrafts forgiven. After searching online, Joe found the direct number for the WaMu executive customer-service department (a previous WaMu customer had done the heavy lifting for him and posted the number on consumerist.com). One call got enough of the overdrafts waived to pull the account out of the red.
LAUNCH AN E-MAIL CARPET BOMB
HOW TO DO IT: Figure out the company's e-mail address format. It's usually something like firstname.lastname @companyname.com. You can find sample e-mail addresses in company press releases and SEC filings (sec.gov). Next, find the names of a number of top executives, plug them into the formula, and blast your complaint letter to as many as you want. For a list of potential targets, check out the company at google.com/finance and look under Management. The About Us or Investor Relations sections of a company website are also good places to find a high-level executive roster.
WHY IT WORKS: A top executive understands he won't have a company if there are no customers. Perhaps he read the study in the Journal of Marketing that found the stock of companies scoring high on the American Customer Satisfaction Index outperforms the general market. Plus, he's a bigwig. If you can convince him your cause is just and he tells his people to fix your problem, it will get done.
ONE EXAMPLE: Kurt Greiner's stepson, Private Christopher Corley, was flying home to New Jersey from California on US Airways in time to say goodbye to his dying grandmother. A delay triggered a series of events that left the Marine stranded in Phoenix and sleeping in the terminal. Gate staff were indifferent to the family crisis, so Greiner e-mailed a complaint to a list of US Airways
executives.
A senior customer-service representative called Corley and apologized profusely. By then, he had made it to New Jersey, but the rep upgraded his return flight to first class, threw in a $400 travel voucher, and offered to waive any future $100 itinerary-change fee. Delayed 16 hours, Corley didn't make it to his grandmother's bedside in time, but he was able to stand by his stepfather at her memorial service.
BECOME A TOWN CRIER
HOW TO DO IT: As a last resort, try typing up a one-page flyer telling your true tale of customer disservice. Make copies and take them with you to the store. Inform the manager that unless he gives you what you deserve, you will stand outside the store and distribute flyers to anyone and everyone who walks by.
WHY IT WORKS: Now that it has your money, a store can afford to lose your business. But what about the business of the next ten customers?
ONE EXAMPLE: In his book Unscrewed: The Consumer's Guide to Getting What You Paid For, Ron Burley recounts buying a new car. His thrill over the new set of wheels evaporated when he opened the newspaper a few days later. There was his car, in an ad from the same dealer, for $1,200 less. When Burley called, the sales manager told him the contracts were complete, so there was nothing he could do.
Burley stewed-and made some flyers: "This company lies to its customers!" He returned to the dealership and laid the papers on the manager's desk. "I am going to exercise my First Amendment right to stand in front of your dealership and hand out these flyers. I bet that in just a handful of Saturdays, I can convince a couple of dozen people to shop elsewhere. It won't put any cash in my pocket, but I'll feel a lot better about things. What do you think?"
The speechless manager excused himself. When he came back, he smiled and apologized for not honoring the advertised price. The dealership cut Burley a check within minutes.
Companies have the right to make a profit. As consumers, we have the right to receive the goods and services we purchased at the price and quality advertised. We also have the right to seek redress if those expectations are not met.
But the Federal Trade Commission and other regulatory bodies that are supposed to protect us from reckless profiteers can't possibly address every complaint. So now it's up to you to protect your consumer rights.
You can execute most of these techniques in less than 30 minutes. And you probably have everything you need already: a telephone, a computer, and a spine. Do your research. Ask questions. Read the fine print. Be fair. When things go wrong, know whom to complain to and how. And always vote with your dollar. Remember, there's no valid excuse for anyone to rip you off.
WARNING
These techniques are recommended only for sane people who can speak in reasonable tones and treat strangers like humans. Threatening an individual may result in a visit from the police. Causing a company to lose money may result in a lawsuit. The right to free speech does not exist on private property and may have to be exercised just beyond the owner's property line, which usually extends from the edge of the store to where the sidewalk meets the asphalt.
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