Countdown to Preschool (page 4 of 5)

The Day Before

Take it easy. Keep the day before preschool as calm and relaxing as possible. You don't want to plan anything too exciting that might tire your child out, but you also don't want him to sit around worrying about the big day ahead. Do let your child know what's coming, however, advises Katz. Start with a simple comment or question: "I think we're all ready for school tomorrow. Can you think of anything we've forgotten?" or "Do you have any more questions?"

Address her concerns. If your child does ask questions, treat them seriously, says Katz. Avoid comments like "Don't be silly!" and "That's ridiculous!" And don't try to gloss over fears with lines like "Stop worrying! All the kids will want to be friends with you!" Instead, give an honest -- but positive -- response conveying your confidence that things will go well. For example: "It can be hard to make friends right away. But tomorrow you'll meet the kids, and if you find one you like, we'll invite him for a play date."

Make a plan. Before your child goes to bed, make some decisions together: What will your child wear to school? What will she eat for breakfast? Who will bring her to school and pick her up? "This not only helps your child prepare for the day, it also cuts down on the dawdling and arguing in the morning," says Willer. Also, by giving your child limited choices -- "Do you want to wear your red shirt tomorrow or your blue one?"; "Do you want apple or orange juice in your lunch box?" -- you endow her with a sense of control over this new and intimidating experience.

It's a good idea, too, to lay everything out, so your child can see and touch it all (and you won't get hung up on a last-minute search for missing socks or sneakers in the morning). Also, pack all of your child's school supplies in his backpack and include a change of clothing (in case he gets wet, messy or misses the potty). And be extra sure that everything of your child's is labeled.

As you pack your child's book bag, invite him to include something special: a favorite cuddly toy, for example, or a family photograph. "Many children find comfort in bringing a toy or blanket from home while they work through the separation," notes Fine.

"It also often helps to give your child something to put in his 'psychological pocket,' " adds Katz. "When my own son was young and started missing me at school, I told him to look at the clock every day when it was group time, which I knew was around 10:15 a.m. I told him I'd look at the clock at that time, too, and think of him so he'd feel better."

Before lights out, review with your child the plans for the next day. For example: "Tomorrow you'll wake up at 7:30. I'll make you cereal, toast and juice for breakfast. You'll put on your new clothes. You'll brush your teeth. We'll get in the car. And I'll take you to school."

"Let your child know what you'll be doing, too," adds Rafoth. Tell him, for example: "While you're in school, I'll be buying our groceries" or "While you're doing your work at school, I'll be doing my work in my office."

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