Home Improvement Disasters

Sometimes doing it yourself is risky business. Check out these anecdotes from homeowners who learned the hard way.

Car Trouble

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the huge home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood. Frantic,

I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the courtesy counter.

"Please help," I gasped. "My car’s on fire! I need a fire extinguisher."

Without even looking up, he replied, "Aisle 12."

 -- Nicholas Bancalari, New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Tool Mix-Up

Our old house needed constant TLC. Fortunately my dad is handy and can do most of the work himself. One day he crawled under the foundation to prop up some sagging floorboards. Suddenly we heard a muffled yell, and Dad crawled out on his hands and knees at a speed I hadn’t thought possible.

"What’s wrong?" my mother asked.

"I reached to pick up the crowbar," Dad gasped, "and it slithered out of my hand."

 -- Robert Shelley, Weatherford, Texas

• • Home Repair

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• More Home Improvements Gone Bad
• Read these hysterical stories of home-challenged people.
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• Housework Hilarity
• Jokes to pass the time between chores.
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“ Once a day, sit in a quiet, dim room, close your eyes, and focus on one word. This helps reduce stress and decreases your susceptibility to colds. ”

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“ Bring on the cayenne! Eating spicy foods can make your nose run, and that's good. A runny nose helps break up congestion and remove irritants. ”

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See More Jokes

Bad weather had backed up all flights, and as a result our plane sat on the runway for three hours. All attempts to placate passengers weren't working. Then the pilot came on the intercom to announce his umpteenth update: "Folks, we'll be getting permission to take off, but I have to tell you that we're 26th in line for departure." As a collective groan filled the aircraft, a flight attendant took the mike and added, "Ladies and gentlemen, please close your window shades. We'll soon be showing our almost-in-flight hit movie, Anger Management."

-- Steve North, Roslyn Heights, N.Y.