Telling Tales

Sharing family memories isn't just fun -- it promises a lifetime of payoff.

Relive Family History

Not long ago I passed a church sign that made me smile. "Get rich quick," it read. "Count your blessings."

What a great time to remember this advice. And what better way to share your blessings than by really connecting with your loved ones. Pull out a story or two from the family memory banks and share it. It's a way of letting your relatives know you appreciate being part of the clan. Says Flora Joy, professor emeritus of storytelling at East Tennessee State University, "Family time can be treasured by reliving significant family events through stories." Here are some ideas to help the tales flow.

Donald Davis is one of this country's preeminent storytellers. The title track of his CD, "That's What Mamas Do" (August House Publishers, ages 8 and up; $16.95), honors moms everywhere. And in "The Power of Stories," two friends realize that stories can take them back to their earliest memories of the people who shaped their lives. To prepare for collecting your family's stories, talk with the kids about a theme or a basic idea or two. Then, when the family's assembled around the dinner table one evening, ask everyone to share a memory. Some ideas: "Tell me about your wedding day," "What was it like when Grandma and Grandpa went to school?" "What was your most embarrassing moment?" The more specific the details, the better the stories will be -- and the more everyone can learn. Don't forget to record the answers.

When he was a child, Bill Zimmerman, now a writer for Newsday, loved sitting under the kitchen table during family gatherings and just listening to the stories his relatives told. That experience made such an impact on him that he created My Paper Memory Quilt: A Family History Pack (Chronicle Books; $12.95). The kit includes a guidebook of suggestions and inspiration, plus pre-cut paper panels to help other families create a memory quilt of their own.

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“ Smiling is a two-way mechanism. We do it when we're relaxed and happy, but doing it can also make us feel relaxed and happy. ”

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On the first day of our marriage retreat, the instructor talked about the importance of knowing what matters to each other."For example," he began, pointing to my husband, David, "do you know your wife's favorite flower?"David answered, "Pillsbury All Purpose." 

-- Annemarie Woods, Allen Park, Michigan