1. An old-fashioned telegram oozes romance the way a mid-century honeymoon aboard The Queen Mary once did. Recreate the magic, complete with typewriter font, “stops” for periods and official-looking paper. $6.
2. Fill in the blanks, Mad Lib-style, and this site will generate a poem from the words you choose. There’s also a form that lets you create your own variation on Pablo Neruda’s “In My Twilight Sky.” Then write the results on a cool card like this one ($6).
4. Give this artist the ten reasons you love your mate (up to 100 words) and she will custom-make a hand-lettered card ($22).
5. Or choose your favorite “initials-in-the-sand” photo here and give the artist the message would like her to use. She will then draw your love note on the beach, take a photo of it and send it to you as if you’d strolled along the shore yourself. $9.
6. There’s something so charming about old school Valentines, with their hand-painted cherubs and quaint messages. You’ll find thousands for sale at this site, from Victorian bouquets to Depression-era cartoons. Prices vary.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.