Best Patriotic Pitch

Dayna Steele loves watching great sporting events. But a few years ago, when the 48-year-old media consultant attended a Houston Comets women’s basketball game and stood at attention for "The Star-Spangled Banner," her enjoyment was interrupted by oblivious fellow fans chatting and guzzling beer.

She recalled a story that her friend H. C. Thomas, a civilian contractor in Iraq, had told her about a Jamaican national who always choked up at the sound of the American anthem. "He said how lucky we are that so many have given their lives to protect our freedom." Recruiting Thomas’s help, she hatched a plan in which U.S. servicemen in Iraq would videotape a "pro-anthem" message. Her website,, now offers the videos free for use before any public event in which the anthem will be played. Their effort is a tribute both to their military fathers and "to all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our great nation," Thomas says.

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram


A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.


Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.


Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”


Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.