Dumb Human Behavior to Avoid

Nothing bucks up our spirits more than knowing there are people dumber than we are. Except maybe knowing there are lots of them. Vote for  the dumbest human now.

DUMB ON THE JOB
Presenting … The Great Narcissus!

Joanna Kirchmeier arrived at her London home only to find her husband, Helmut, in front of a mirror “just staring at himself, his pupils tiny.” Helmut, a newly trained hypnotist, had accidentally hypnotized himself while rehearsing a new act and had been standing like that for five hours.
Source: London Telegraph

No Shirt/No Hands/No Service
A Florida bank refused to let a man born without arms cash his wife’s check, even though he provided two forms of identification. The reason given: He couldn’t provide a thumbprint. Source: (Cleveland) Plain Dealer

The Hottest Show on Cable

Zurich firefighters were called to the home of an elderly woman who reported that her television set was on fire. When they arrived, they found her TV tuned to a live feed of a fireplace. “The fire was extinguished with the press of a button,” said a police spokesperson. Source: Associated Press

Scalpel … Forceps … Pink Slip …

When a Madison, Wisconsin, hospital decided to lay off 90 employees, executives there wanted to get it over with quickly. Butthe timing for one nurse wasn’t ideal. She was dismissed during surgery. Source: allheadlinenews.com

Next: DUMB IN GOVERNMENT

Become more interesting every week!

Get our Read Up newsletter

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you the newsletter each week, and we may also send you occasional special offers from Reader's Digest. For more information please read our privacy policy.

12 thoughts on “Dumb Human Behavior to Avoid

  1. I loved the one about the theives who confused robbing a bank with ordering a pizza.  You don’t get faster service by calling in your order ahead.  That is really dumb. 

  2. There may be reasons to forego building a $1.2 million dollar trail in tough economic times.The presence of a potentially dangerous snake is not one of them. If that were the case, we wouldn’t have very many hiking trails in the US. Most of the 48 contiguous states are home to at least one species of venomous snake. Many have several. Even places without the snakes may have other dangerous creatures present.
    Are we all supposed to just sit at home and watch TV all day long?Oh, and as rattlesnakes go, the massasauga isn’t among the more dangerous species. They are smaller than most, and have a lower venom yield. 

    You’d be in much more danger hiking trails where timber, prairie, diamondback or sidewinder rattlesnakes live. But people do it all the time.

  3. no, fuzzy-wuzzy wasn’t marxist, but this gets my vote for the dumbest government stunt. only in texas, friends, only in texas.

  4. no, fuzzy-wuzzy wasn’t marxist, but this gets my vote for the dumbest government stunt. only in texas, friends, only in texas.

  5. Locating a bike/walking path in massasauga rattlesnake habitat is not as dumb as you make it sound. The  Eastern massasauga rattlesnake is on the state endangered list According to the U.S.Fish & wildlife service, “The
    massasauga is a secretive, docile snake that strikes humans only when
    it feels threatened or cornered. A massasauga will rely on its camouflage
    coloration to hide or will try to escape rather than strike a person.
    Many people who visit parks with massasaugas never see these shy creatures
    and may have walked by one with out noticing it.” Refer tohttp://www.fws.gov/midwest/endangered/reptiles/conserve.html

  6. Locating a bike/walking path in massasauga rattlesnake habitat is not as dumb as you make it sound. The  Eastern massasauga rattlesnake is on the state endangered list According to the U.S.Fish & wildlife service, “The
    massasauga is a secretive, docile snake that strikes humans only when
    it feels threatened or cornered. A massasauga will rely on its camouflage
    coloration to hide or will try to escape rather than strike a person.
    Many people who visit parks with massasaugas never see these shy creatures
    and may have walked by one with out noticing it.” Refer tohttp://www.fws.gov/midwest/endangered/reptiles/conserve.html

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram

@kristencarney

A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

@sixthformpoet

Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

@NicCageMatch

Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

Fields marked with an * are required
Foods That Harm Foods That HealWant a Free eBook?
FOODS THAT HARM, FOODS THAT HEAL offers important information about the role diet plays in the struggle against heart disease, cancer, diabetes and other serious illnesses. Answer the question below to receive your FREE digital eBook.

Someone in my household experiences the following conditions:

Send me a link to download FOODS THAT HARM, FOODS THAT HEAL:
By clicking below, I agree to the Trusted Media Brands Privacy Policy