Hanukkah Helper: 6 Gentile Reminders

Hanukkah Helper: 6 Gentile Reminders© Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Thinkstock

Tuckered out by years of wise men and mangers, one Jewish woman from Texas has a few insights.

1. Hanukkah, Chanukah: It doesn’t matter how you spell it, as long as you can pronounce it. That guttural “ch” should come from the back of your throat.

2. It’s not a Jewish Christmas. The two holidays may be close on the calendar, but Hanukkah is a minor holiday. It doesn’t come close to the significance of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, or Passover.

3. What’s the story? “They tried to kill us; we beat them; let’s eat.”

4. Instead of wishing me “happy holidays,”try saying “Chag sameach” (khag sa-may-ach). That will blow me away.

5. Do you really have eight nights of presents? Ask my kids and they’ll snort and say, “Yeah, if you count school supplies and socks!”

6. No one would dream of asking an employee to work late on Christmas Eve, but I’m lucky if I get home in time to light candles even four of eight nights.

 

Become more interesting every week!

Get our Read Up newsletter

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you the newsletter each week, and we may also send you occasional special offers from Reader's Digest. For more information please read our privacy policy.

Funny Jokes

Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

Funny Jokes

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

Funny Jokes

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram

@kristencarney

Funny Jokes

A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

@sixthformpoet

Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

@NicCageMatch

Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

Fields marked with an * are required
Foods That Harm Foods That HealWant a Free eBook?
FOODS THAT HARM, FOODS THAT HEAL offers important information about the role diet plays in the struggle against heart disease, cancer, diabetes and other serious illnesses. Answer the question below to receive your FREE digital eBook.

Someone in my household experiences the following conditions:

Send me a link to download FOODS THAT HARM, FOODS THAT HEAL:
By clicking below, I agree to the Trusted Media Brands Privacy Policy