Reader Digest Version Global

How to Avoid Online Dating Scams

Common sense will tell you that sending money to a stranger is a bad idea. Here are more tips to protecting yourself from a scam.

from Reader's Digest | September 2011

With over 1,500 sites devoted to dating, the Internet is ripe for romance — and rip-offs. How do you avoid opening your heart — and your wallet — to a prince (or princess) too charming to be true? Start by taking these precautions.

Don’t pursue a long-distance relationship with a stranger online. “Staying local drastically reduces your odds of being scammed, since most scammers target victims outside their areas to avoid being caught or prosecuted,” notes Canadian journalist Risha Gotlieb.

Never reveal personal data to someone until you meet face-to-face and develop a level of trust. While it’s tempting to share every detail of your life with a person you think you could be in love with, that’s exactly what the scammer is counting on.

Pay attention to language. Many of those who commit these crimes are from West Africa and the former Soviet republics. If their command of English is fuzzy, that’s a “big red flag,” writes Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal.

Use search engines to check out suitors. When Bernstein met someone online who seemed too good to be true, she cut and pasted one of his e-mails into Google. Lo and behold, the exact words popped up on several websites devoted to romance scams.

Upload a potential paramour’s photo on tineye.com. According to Bernstein, this will allow you to see where on the Internet the photo has appeared. Many con artists use a photo they’ve swiped from a Facebook page.

Stick to paid online dating sites. If members shell out money to register, that means credit cards are on file, Bernstein points out. But don’t assume these sites are free of predators. They just may have fewer of them.

Be suspicious if someone wants to immediately start communicating through IM and e-mail. They may want access to your computer in order to steal information.

Ditto someone who claims to be a soldier. There are an increasing number of scams in which con artists take photos of soldiers from social networking sites and then pretend to be trustworthy members of the military. They’ll ask potential dates for money to buy special papers they claim are needed to come home or talk to family. But Christopher Grey of the Army’s Criminal Investigation Command told the Associated Press, “There is no such thing.”

Don’t open attachments from a stranger. If someone sends you a photo in an attachment and you open it, you may have unwittingly allowed a virus to infect your computer.

Don’t fall for a sob story. Jody Buell, a peer counselor with romancescams.org, says that many scammers claim to have lost a spouse, child, or parent in an accident or say they have a relative who is very ill. Another common ploy, says the FBI’s Tim Gallagher in the Wall Street Journal: Your suitor is at the airport on his way to visit you, but his credit card has been declined.

Dial up your date ASAP. According to Bernstein, someone who sounds plausible online may be an obvious fraud on the phone.

Check sites such as pigbusters.net and romancescams.org. If he has conned others, he may show up there.

Report any suspicious behavior or fraud to the Federal Trade Commission, says Grey.

Never, ever wire money to a stranger.

Your Comments

  • Southart7

    If someone is a well rehearsed liar, they can certainly lie over a telephone as well!

  • Balsonja

    this is howe to see if thay are scammers thay love you in minites than after a schort wihl thay need money cos the child is sick ore  there credit card is lost need help all ways with thinks dond fall fore it cos no unest persone wond ask fore money that thay just mate

  • Redsonja004

    Be Careful of men who claim to be millionnaires….sorry to say but be care of men claiming to be engineers, architects, construction. I chatted with several of these men and found all to be dishonest. Be careful if they want your full name to start off with as well….they get real upset when you don’t give it to them and they are done.  Ladies, shop pretty local…most who contact you will be long distance and that is how they get away with alot that they do. Do an engine search or several….do a background check. If they give you a phone number check an reverse phone lookup…I had one tell me he was from Miami and the pone number was not from Miami at all. Be careful if they delete their profile after a few conversations….they won’t keep their information up for to long so you are unable to report them. I added several to my yahoo messanger and then logged in invisible to see how much they spend online…if alot, they are usually unemployed or scammers. I even checked in the middle of the night….most overseas scammers don’t have our hours.

  • Marissa

    Beware of this Malaysian guy posing as Handsome Pedro Bailey
    from Venice, Italy he is using number +600102869658, email: pedro_bailey1@yahoo.co.uk.. he claims he is an Oil Rig Engineer and will visit you but on the airport he will declare that his briefcase full of money was confiscated and will ask you to wire money.. don’t fet fooled.. he has a facebook account using that email.

  • Marissa

    he has also a skype account pedro_bailey.. beware

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  • Marie

    It breaks my heart that our brave military are being USED
    in these scams.

    I have encountered many scammers said to be military.
    I’ve tried to report them for the benefit of the military man only.
    I’m familiar enough with the military to know when being taken…I think

    For a while I stopped all together, then felt if there was ONE military man out there without anyone to write home to or talk to, I would feel really bad not to
    be there for him while helping keep the great USA safe.

  • mercybabee

    Hello how are you hope you’re well? My name mercy, i saw your profile today and became very interested in you, i will like both of us to be friends i want you to send me a message through my email mercyjohnon@yahoo.com so that i can introduce myself better for you to know whom i am