We already know about some creative uses for ashes postmortem—crush them into a diamond or blast them off into space!—but here’s a new one: try converting them into a vinyl record.
“I’ve heard stories about my father trying to scatter his grandfather’s ashes from a boat… It went terribly wrong, and they ended up sweeping him off the deck,” music producer Jason Leach told Businessweek in a recent interview. Messy memorials perhaps serving as some inspiration, Leach went on to found And Vinyly, an online service that presses cremated remains onto records.
Not positive which tracks to include in the mix? Here’s a solution: “Just because it’s a record doesn’t mean it has to contain music,” said Leach. “It might be nice to have your own voice on there. I’d like nothing more than to listen to my great-great grandfather say something on a record.”
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.