"You did it—deal with it, learn from it."
"It's your life, plus social commentary."
"If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all."
"Find a man who can dance and makes you laugh."
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"Never tell a man you don't like his gift."
"Never look a gift mattress in the nose."
The Worst Advice:
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.