Hilarious Texts From Parents Gone Bad

Hilarious Texts From Parents Gone Bad© FogStock/Thinkstock

Brothers Stephen and Wayne Miltz, creators of the popular crazythingsparentstext.com, recently published a book of hundreds of private text messages between parents and children. A selection of our favorites:

Mom: Love you, kiddo!

Me: Aw, thanks. Love you, too!

Mom: Sorry, wrong person


Me: Dad, my bank account has ten dollars in it!

Dad: Oh good, our plan to get you to contact us succeeded


Me: I was offered a job!

Dad: Accept it before they realize their mistake.


Dad: What is IDK?

Me: I don’t know.

Dad: Oh, do you know who does?


Dad: I just changed my password to “incorrect” so the computer just tells me when I forget.


Me: Lets eat dad

Dad: “Let’s eat Dad” or “Let’s eat, Dad.” Punctuation saves lives.


Me: I love you

Mom: I tolerate you


Mom: I think I keep getting messages or missed calls or something.

Me: From who?

Mom: Some woman called…Betty Low?

Me: Um, battery low?

Mom: Yeah, that’s it!


Me: What time are you picking me up?

Dad: Who is this?

Me: Your son.

Dad: How did you get this number?

Me: I programmed your phone, remember?

Dad: How do I delete people?


Mom: Your father is driving me crazy. When are you coming home?

Me: I’m out with friends so not till late. Sorry!

Mom: It’s OK. I put Ambien in his tea. He won’t be annoying me much longer.


Me: Can I borrow 50 bucks?

Mom: You don’t call to say hi, you didn’t call on my birthday. All you ever call for is money!

Me: 40 bucks?

Mom: OK.


Me: Hey!

Dad: Aren’t you supposed to be at school?

Me: Aren’t you supposed to be at work?

Dad: Touché …


Me: Happy 49th, Dad! I love you so much!

Dad: It’s 48! You ruined my day.


Mom: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I’m lonely.

Me: Isn’t Dad there?

Mom: Yes, but I like you more.

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28 thoughts on “Hilarious Texts From Parents Gone Bad

  1. parents shouldn’t be mean, even in joking, unless they want it right back from their kids when they’re old and depend on them.

  2. This texting stories may not be real but found some I plan on usung with my kids.

  3. I remember telling my young son, (when he refused to wear his jacket) “OK, but when you wake up dead from pneumonia, don’t come crying to me”!!  D.J. in NY

  4. Readers Digest, Although I like your examples, and I gather the book is cleaned up from what is found on the site, you should warn readers about sites that are full of really disgusting language like the one by the Miltz brothers. I went there looking for a laugh and came away disgusted. There are very few that I could show to my son. Most use obscene, sexual, and racist language. Not cool. 

  5. good news~
    ” I have already come ”
    youtube search  ” I have already come “

  6. good news~
    ” I have already come ”
    youtube search  ” I have already come “

  7. good news~
    ” I have already come ”
    youtube search  ” I have already come “

  8. good news~
    ” I have already come ”
    youtube search  ” I have already come “

  9. Well my experience is not funny in an obvious way, but how do you feel when you wake up at 10 in the morning at your parents’ place, where you’re back for holidays,BTW, only to find a text from your dad -which was sent at 7 in the morning- saying “Young lady, I expect you to become a successful, independent woman who continues her studies until PhD,” really, dad?

    1. Ecogirl…ur absolutely right…these jokes are written to make u laugh…it does not claim that it’s really happening… ;-)

    2. Ecogirl…ur absolutely right…these jokes are written to make u laugh…it does not claim that it’s really happening… ;-)

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