Follow these tips from Stacy DeBroff, author of The Mom Book, on how to get your kids to “sit down” in a sit-down restaurant.
Pick the right restaurant. Chain restaurants are great because they’re used to serving families and they’re trained to turn over tables fast, meaning you’ll get your order in and get fed in a hurry.
Get a booth. It provides the all-important buffer zone between your family and the rest of the restaurant.
Reward kids for good behavior. To get your kids to behave during the meal, tell them you’ll take them out for ice cream afterward. Don’t offer dessert at the restaurant—it just adds to the sitting time.
Bring a “restaurant kit.” This would be a bag filled with crayons and paper, small puzzles, Legos (depending on age of child), or a handheld electronic game.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.