10 Things You Thought Were Abnormal in Relationships—But Really Aren’t…

We are all obsessed with being “normal”—in fact, it’s quite, er, “normal.” In my book a behavior is normal as long as it won’t make you sick, isn’t sadistic, or get you arrested. It doesn’t have to be “average”—just within a range of human behavior that doesn’t doom all living things—including yourself. So, it’s “normal,” for example, to lose your temper. It’s not normal to torch your neighborhood (even though the thought may have entered your mind occasionally).

What’s normal in a relationship? It’s more varied than you might think. Here’s a list of common relationship issues and behaviors that some experts will tell you are abnormal, but I believe are perfectly normal.

1. Long silences. Over time there is less that you have to say—you know your partner’s response!  

10 Things You Thought Were Abnormal in Relationships—But Really Aren’t…© Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Thinkstock

2. The need for space.  Only puppies want to be on top of each other—and they get tired of it too.

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3. Thinking about something else during sex. Is there anyone who hasn’t, at least once, remembered they left the car windows open when the rain, and sex, started at the same time? 

4. Thinking about the one who got away. Almost everyone has had a fantasy lover—either a real one that didn’t work out—or a movie star or some famous person who you dream about. There is that “What if…” thought that comes now and then.  

5. Wanting to run away. Hey, life is sometimes just hellish or boring—or both. Or you feel underappreciated and over-worked. Sometimes you just want to chuck it all. 

6. Being seriously annoyed at a partner’s habit(s). You are lucky if it’s just one habit. Most people have at least one thing about their partner they really can’t stand. For example: snoring, hygiene, sloppiness, or foot in mouth problems.

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7. Giving out bad vibes to a friend of your partner who you wish would go away. Most good friendships are made, not inherited. There is usually at least one friend of your partner you hope will disappear. 

8. Faking more sexual arousal than you are experiencing. Sometimes the mojo isn’t working; but you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings. Good partners tend to be kind about this sort of thing—angry partners telegraph that, on the whole, they’d rather be quilting. 

9. Not taking care of yourself. Everyone knows it’s important to stay fit and attractive, but it’s just so much work. 

10. Lying. Maybe there are some long-term couples that have never told a lie to each other about anything—yes, conscious omissions count—but I wouldn’t make a money bet on that.

Plus: 6 Ways to Eat for a Better Sex Drive

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16 thoughts on “10 Things You Thought Were Abnormal in Relationships—But Really Aren’t…

  1. People are a headache…I’m leaving soon to Grizzly country…I’d rather deal with Grizzlies…

  2. most horrible set of advices ever. Please stop writing such nonsense, it will hurt the cause of men and women getting alongvwith each other. Lying (no-no), need space (bad sign), thinking of something else during sex (wow), thinking about the onewho got away (seriously??) should I go on?

  3. Well that was vapid. “We are all obsessed with being “normal”” Almost stopped reading there. Should have. 

  4. Not everyone is obsessed with being normal. Normal by definition also means average, typical, pedestrian, unremarkable, and, for me personally, quite boring and banal. 

  5. It’s not talking about things that are turn offs. It’s talking about things that people think are abnormal in relationships but really they are normal. 

  6. It’s not very fair to call snoring a “bad habit”.  People can’t make a conscious decision to snore and keep their loved ones awake.  

  7. A classic example of the naturalistic fallacy: what is, is “normal”.

  8. These are all horrible! Not taking care of yourself is just lazy, and a guaranteed turn-off for your spouse. Of course, if you’re thinking about other people during sex, fantastizing about the one that got away, and faking orgasms, you probably want your partner turned off.

  9. I think about pleasing my partner, taking my time and then pounding my partner furiously during sex and bring her and myself to orgasm not a car window being open

  10. I think about pleasing my partner, taking my time and then pounding my partner furiously during sex and bring her and myself to orgasm not a car window being open

  11. I think about pleasing my partner, taking my time and then pounding my partner furiously during sex and bring her and myself to orgasm not a car window being open

    1.  Thank you for sharing what you think about. Let us know what happens if you ever actually get to try it out with a woman.

    2.  Thank you for sharing what you think about. Let us know what happens if you ever actually get to try it out with a woman.

    3.  Thank you for sharing what you think about. Let us know what happens if you ever actually get to try it out with a woman.

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