Friend Me: How Adults Can Make and Keep Friends

Why is it so tough to get new pals, and how can we be happy with the ones we have? We've got the answers.

By Dawn Raffel from Reader's Digest | February 2012

Friend MeCourtesy Jennifer Troyer
Rachel Bertsche, 29, chronicles her year of weekly “friend dates” in her new book, MWF Seeking BFF. The experiment didn’t uncover a new soul mate, she writes, “but I might have something better: a bouquet of friends.” We asked:

Why is it so hard to make friends as adults?
As kids, we’re thrown together in friendship breeding grounds like school and sports. As adults, approaching potential friends feels awkward. I was terrified that people would think I was a weirdo. But time and again, I found they were receptive.

Do we have unrealistic expectations about best pals?
I still have this image in my head that my new best friend will be the same as my best friend in grade school. We’ll talk every night and hang out every weekend. That’s not reality for adults who have other commitments. Seeing someone once a month is pretty good — once every two weeks is amazing!

How do we make new friends?
Be open to creating connections anywhere you go, let people know you’re in the market for friends, and accept all invitations — no matter how much you’d rather stay home.

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  • Your Comments

    • Patty

      Join an organization you like for me it’s orchids so joined the orchid society.  it’s opened me to new people and two friends who look for each other at meetings. 

    • Cc


    • Shams Aci

      I like the idea:


        – A.R.Shams’s Reflection – Press & Online Publications.

    • 772470615

      children can make friends just for candys , while adults consider about money

    • Rock

      it is true that adults are hard to meet new friends.
      I agree with the comment in the article: be open to creating connection.
      somehow we have to take a risk of being cold sholdered or stood up.
      I just being stood up for 2 friends withine 3 days in sequence….
      feel fo bad

    • Multidimensions Net

      every one should read this one!

    • Mizdipi

      friendship not like meeting and hanging with someone, it is, what i thing something that comes from heart.So letting someone know one cares him is not fruitful unless he feels that

      • Chengjiaoquan

        be  my  friends

    • 1278816239

      be open to people you meet

    • Daireen Shahrin

      because as an adults..we tend to have more ego compare to the kids..

    • Hugo

      accept all invitation is the kind of way to let friends knowing how care them i am

      • sarah

        we cannot narrow ways of making friends.

      • Glitterstar

        Hugo…you are very kind.