Step 1: Clasp his hand as if to arm-wrestle. Pull him toward you.
Step 2: Quickly turn your face 45 degrees to the left. He should do the same.
Step 3: Give him at most three hearty pats on the back, as if you’re burping a baby. Keep all body contact above the waist.
Step 4: Push back, release your grip, smile with embarrassment, and pretend it never happened.
See also: Please Don’t Hug Me