- Claude Jr., French bulldog
- Patchwork quilt constructed from fabrics from my childhood/life, made by my mother
- Vintage cowgirl boots
- MacBook Pro that holds my photos
- Pendleton bag, to carry all
- Small jar containing fur from my first dog, chocolate Labrador Gunnar
- Leica V-Lux 20. Would never leave behind my camera
- Photo of my parents circa 1970
- Snakeskin wallet containing all the essentials: money, driver’s license, Social Security card, credit cards, etc.
- (not pictured) Boyfriend: Theodore
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.