No one is perfect, but there are certain signs that can help you make a sound decision. Though relationships are emotionally driven, thinking clearly will help you assess if a guy is right for you.
1. Do the two of you share the same beliefs? Your values will determine how your lives and time are shared. Though you don’t have to agree on everything, the more there’s alignment in your core beliefs, the easier life will be.
2. How does he handle disagreements? Couples have conflicts. What’s important is how he manages the dispute. Is he respectful vs. shutting down or not addressing the issue? A good relationship entails each partner feeling heard and meeting the other person’s needs.
3. How does he act with others? You can tell a great deal by how he behaves. Is he respectful rather than arrogant or judgmental? Even more meaningful is the manner in which he treats significant people like his mother or sister; they serve as good indicators of how he deals with those close to him.
4. How does he treat you in front of others? It is crucial that you don’t take a backseat but are seen as someone who is important.
5. What is your private time like? Though publicly, he may function one way, is he consistent when the two of you are alone? Though you don’t have to spend every waking moment together, you want to feel valued rather than an intrusion upon him.
6. Do you get a sense that what you think and feel matters? Though he might not necessarily agree with you, does he listen and respect your opinions, viewpoints, and feelings?
7. Does he act responsibly? Is he able to manage his money matters in a reasonable way? Does he follow through on what he tells you?
I’m a true believer that everything you want to know about someone is evident initially, if you really pay attention and don’t merely respond on emotions. If you need some objectivity, ask a trusted friend. If the overall picture looks good, take the plunge. Remember, they say love can be lovelier the second time around!
Psychologist Dr. Karen Sherman (www.yourempoweredrelationship.com) helps people connect to their fullest potential individually and in relationships.
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