Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak

Poetic, rueful, hilarious (or all three)—share these sentiments with someone you adore.

Excerpted from Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak.


Short reflections on love and heartbreak.Clipart.comShort reflections on love and heartbreak.

Where he is, I am home.

—Julia Evans

In hindsight, I’d still choose you.

—Natana Gill

Love: eight pounds and six ounces.

—Kenny Clark

Much married, fourth time is charmed.

—Erica Jong

Wonder-filled, and never a dull torment.

—Diane Ackerman

Marriage, children, empty nest: Now what?

—Oliver House

Endurance is an expression of love.

—Lee Woodruff

Everyone’s crazy except you and me.

—Mark Frauenfelder

I’m your one that got away.

—Mary Elizabeth Williams

He e-mailed again, and I deleted.

—Molly Antopol

No, you can’t have the toaster.

—Diana Spechler

May I have the last dance?

—Robert Hass

He told me he was single.

—Esther Newberg

My heart is my strongest muscle.

—Shanna Katz

He’s Velcro, I’m Teflon…love endures!

—Kay Murcer

Her beautiful eyes…my guiding light!

—Bobby Murcer

My life’s accomplishments? Sanity, and you.

—Elizabeth Gilbert

What once were two, are one.

—George Saunders

What do you want for dinner?

—Drew Magary

Hired me. Fired me. Married me.

—Julie Klam

We belly laugh every single day.

—Michelle Ottey

Moved in. No ring. Moved out.

—Melissa Lafsky

Portland, she decided; I, the Bronx.

—Dominic Preziosi

I searched him on Google. Nothing.

—Cybele O’Brien

Love means lying about my weight.

—Ann Ingalls

Hearts never look both ways first.

—Tanya Jarrett

A kiss can write a secret.

—Annmarie Howell

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Funny Jokes

Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

Funny Jokes

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

Funny Jokes

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram

@kristencarney

Funny Jokes

A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

@sixthformpoet

Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

@NicCageMatch

Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

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