Recently my messy husband, Tom, forgot to pay a stash of bills that was buried under a pile of clutter. I was in a rage. But when I held his hand as we worked it out, my blood pressure immediately dropped. It’s impossible to scream at someone who is sitting right next to you, meeting your gaze, and holding your hand. It just is.
-Published in Reader’s Digest, February 2011
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.