How much you're spending on the big day
IlyaKvatyura/ShutterstockConsidering the average cost of a wedding in the United States is upwards of $40,000—more and more people are aware of how many pretty pennies have to be shelled out to make the magic happen. Even so, when you begin to crunch the numbers and catch a glimpse at your credit card bill, resist the urge to talk about anything financial online, according to Kali Rogers, dating expert. Not only is that information probably news your partner and your family would rather you kept to yourself, but it could come across as boastful or bragging, even if you're merely recovering from the shock of how pricey things really are. "There is no need to educate people on the cost of your wedding. Plus, you're just contributing to the crazy rat race of 'who can have the nicest wedding' on social media," she shares. "Keep this information private."
Your guest list
Ruslan-Shramko/ShutterstockMore than likely, this is the first time that you and your partner have had to negotiate which of your friends is worthy of a chicken (or fish) dinner and who is getting ousted off of your wedding island. That being said, even if you get irritated because your father-in-law to be wants to invite his whole cricket team to the wedding and you have to skip out on your bestie from junior high, it's important to keep a tight lip about your guest list (and this includes those potentially annoying wedding guests!). Why? People who thought they should have been given an invite—and weren't—might get upset. "You need to consider the feelings of those who are not invited to the wedding, those who may be hurt over your impending wedding, like an ex you are still friends with on social media or those who are struggling with their own relationships," explains Nikki Martinez, PhD. "People who are or were important to you may have mixed feelings, so overloading them with your wedding details constantly may be too much for them."
Your wedding dress
dfrolovXIII/ShutterstockIt might be tough to believe that women break that age-old rule to never let anyone— especially their spouse-to-be!—see them in their luxe gown before they're walking down the aisle...but it happens. (By the way, make sure you're wearing the best wedding dress for your body type before you commit to one.) And more often than you think, according to Rogers. "You no longer have to be invited to a wedding to know what decor they used, what the dress looked like, or how much it cost. You can now simply visit friend's profiles to see how the latest wedding stacked up to others," she shares. This spirit of competition might encourage brides to try and 'one-up' each other and give previews to their wedding dress. But, as Rogers says, the wedding isn't about what you wear or how much you spent, it's about the love, and posting an image of your wedding dress online before the big day takes away from the moment you're meant to share with those you love most, not your entire Facebook feed.
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All of the day of details
IVASHstudioThough it's unlikely that someone would randomly make a guest appearance to a wedding without being invited (life isn't a rom-com, you know), the more you post about the who-what-when-where details of your big day, the more risk you attract. "Posting things like time, date, location, parking instructions, accommodations, or anything oddly specific about your wedding can easily come across as an invitation to anybody who happens to find your post," Rogers says. "It might be an easy solution for last minute changes or additions to the wedding, but have somebody else privately reach out. Otherwise you could get some unwanted guests."
The behind-the-scenes family drama...
Natalia-Kabliuk/ShutterstockSo, here's the thing: you're not just gaining a new partner but you're taking on everything that comes with him or her. From student loan debt to weird Uncle Leo on their mother's side, you're not just marrying into a person, but a family and a history. And even if you adore your in-laws-to-be, with any stressful period or time when arguments are plenty, you're bound to disagree with their opinions. But when you're struggling to bite your tongue, bite your fingers too: you don't want to air dirty laundry online. "Do not ever post anything negative about anyone involved in wedding and that includes no passive-aggressive posts about your future in-laws. Social media puts information out to the world, and making a private issue of frustration public, is never appropriate," Dr. Martinez says. "The quickest way to end or ruin these relationships is to post a comment or story about something they did on social media." And when it comes to your partner, make sure to never, ever share any of these social media posts about your relationship.
...or your wedding party frustrations...
satit-sewtiw/ShutterstockSo your maid-of-honor dropped the ball and you missed out on the dream Airbnb you wanted to rent for your bachelorette party. Or maybe your husband-to-be's groomsmen are being difficult to wrangle and you should have put in the order for their suit rentals weeks ago but you still don't have sizes. While you and your partner are balancing a lot of tasks and activities, your bridal party is also figuring out their own budget and vacation to make sure they're there for your once-in-a-lifetime ceremony. It's important to be mindful and considerate of what they're dedicating... and they don't deserve to be gossiped about via Facebook (or Twitter or Instagram).
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...Or how stressed you are
guruXOX/ShutterstockBefore you start to list off all of the reasons why you're deserving of a massage and a big 'ole glass of wine after a weekend of fittings, tasting, and appointments, bare with us. Weddings are definitely a time where you're under tremendous pressure and you might feel validated to unleash your anxiety online, but save it for a friend instead. "A lot of people are truly excited for you and are doing a lot of work to make your day special. If you complain about the stress or the overall pressure of your big day, it will make it seem like you aren't appreciative of your support system's efforts," Rogers says. "Keep complaining or venting off social media and instead seek out a life coach or a friend to help you through it."
A daily countdown to the big day
Alesya-Selifanova/ShutterstockWhen it's a year until your wedding date? Feel free to update your status. Or six months? Sure. A month? Okay. But a day-by-day countdown? Or a daily status update about what you did for your wedding in the past few hours? Oversharing is a quick way to annoy your pals. "Do not inundate people with constant posts about your wedding. People are happy for you, but there can be too much. You should ask yourself what you motivation is behind posting each and every highlight and update of your wedding planning with the world. If you do not have a good reason for it, you should consider cutting down and filtering your posts to the occasional truly special updates," Dr. Martinez says.
The exact details of your honeymoon
Wedding-photography/ShutterstockWhile it might seem like you're being overly cautious—there are dangerous folks who lurk online, waiting to know exactly when you're leaving your home and how long you'll be gone, so they can prey on your belongings. Especially if your social media accounts are public, be wary of giving the nitty-gritty details of your honeymoon. "You are letting the social media world know that your home will be unattended for a period of time. While it is nice that you don't want to think the worst can happen, you also don't want to be a victim of good faith," Dr. Martinez advises.
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An hour-by-hour update on the big day
AnnaGorbenko/ShutterstockOnce you wake up on your wedding day, bright-eyed and excited to get down that aisle already? Step away from your phone, ASAP. You don't need to update our Instagram story or your Facebook or anything. You need to relish this day, because it'll pass by quicker than you can imagine. "Please do not post during your wedding. You should be out there and enjoying your big day with the guests you actually invited, not focusing on others who are not in attendance. Leave your phone behind and be present. You can post highlights after the honeymoon is over," Rogers suggests.