Uncommon Sense: “Tell My Friend about Her Bridesmaid’s Bad Behavior?”

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By Jeanne Marie Laskas from Reader's Digest Magazine | June 2013

I was the maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding, and there was one bridesmaid—a cousin of the bride—who was causing drama constantly. The bride was none the wiser to her behavior, but I’m still reeling. Do I tell the bride how awful her cousin was or keep my mouth shut? —Miffed Maid


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  • Your Comments

    • Kathi Stoin

      The wedding is over. Allow yourself one eye-roll and head shake. Then forget it and move on. Ruminating about it is just hurting you.

    • rae dupont

      Some things are better left unsaid. If her cousin is not included in your close knit circle of friends, why sweat it the small stuff. You may never see this drama queen again. Look at the big picture,it’s all small stuff. Continue being a friend to your friend, while her cousin grows up. Life is so short. Let your friend have memorable moments of her wedding. Don’t you bring the drama to her. Always remember what I have told my own children, :don’t start no stuff, won’t be no stuff.

    • Amaralee

      The past is just that – PAST. Your best friend has fond memories of her wedding, and is proceeding with her married life. It is in the best interest of all involved if you take some deep breaths, release your concerns about the bridesmaid’s behavior, and live in the present moment. You will enjoy life more, and so will your friend.

    • pennsyltucky

      If the wedding is over, what good will it do? It’s not like you and her cousin are going to be spending any time together anymore. There’s no reason to say anything, most likely that will cause more issues than she apparently does.

    • Jess McConnell

      You being angry today cannot change ANYTHING that happened before, in the past. I wouldn’t bother saying a word, for 2 reasons; 1) it’s a family member of your best friend that upset you, and no matter what, blood is thicker than water, and 2) it won’t change anything. So, I’d swallow this one, even though it still makes you mad.

    • Ellen R

      Who’s causing drama now? It’s over, let it go!

    • Tempella Guernsey

      I’d keep my mouth shut unless she requests you deal w/ cousin for another huge social occasion, like hosting a baby shower or milestone birthday party/ anniversary. She’d just get defensive & hurt & can’t do anything about it now. If it still keeps bugging you, why not journal your feelings or talk to a trusted counselor or clergy member bound by confidentiality about it? You may also want to consider whether her cousin is really what’s troubling you or if real issue is jealousy or fear of growing apart from BFF now that her life has changed, esp. if you’re still single & wish you weren’t.

    • syrvyvr64

      Before you say a word, ask yourself, will it matter five years from now?

    • Mary

      Please keep quiet on the issue. You are the one who is overreacting. Since they’re related, I’m sure the bride already knows about the issue. Even so, why would you want to ruin your friend’s happy day? Get used to the fact that there will always be a drama queen somewhere. So please, keep your friend’s best interests in mind and move on like nothing ever happened.

    • History Buff

      Do NOT tell your friend about her annoying cousin. The wedding is over and you can’t change history!