• Try asking, “Do you have a coupon for this?” It usually works.
• When you pay with a credit card, it costs the merchant as much as 3.5 percent of the price. Ask for a similar discount if you pay cash.
• Get a salesperson from one car dealership on your cell phone while you’re standing next to the car you want (and a salesperson) at another dealership. See who goes lower.
• If you ever decide to buy a nice watch, try one of these questions, tested by “mystery shopper” Jane Boon in 26 transactions. “Is there something more you can do for me?” “Is there any further consideration you can offer?” “Would your boss consider X?” The average discount Boon cadged? Eighteen percent.
Sources: Robert Frick in Kiplinger’s Personal Finance; Jane Boon in Bloomberg Business Week.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.