1. Monster party. Decorate your yard and house with signs of a monster. Create huge footprints from the street to the front door (some door mats are shaped like footprints and you could use them to make the monster’s path or cut the prints out of foam sheets). Set a place for him at the table with a giant place mat, a straight-sided glass vase as a drinking glass, and a barbecue fork, butcher knife, and large serving spoon for cutlery. His plate can be a large, round tray and his soup bowl, a tureen. Pipe a loud voice down from the attic or up from the basement. Have guests dress as monsters; the scariest get a prize.
2. Favorite sleuth party. Each guest dresses as his or her favorite mystery novel sleuth from Sherlock Holmes to Inspector Poirot, Sam Spade, or Kinsey Millhone. Other guests have to guess who each is; the person who identifies the most fictional sleuths wins a prize.
3. Potluck Halloween dinner party with prizes for the most ghoulish-looking main dish, the scariest salad, the most frightening dessert, and the most poisonous-looking drink.
Halloween barn dance. It’s the right time of year for bales of straw for seats, pumpkins and corn stalks for decorations, and country music for getting your feet going. Join with friends to rent a hall and hire a trio of musicians, and a caller to get the dancing started. With a caller, even beginners can twirl like pros. Serve cider, beer, and chili and have a ball.
4. Day of the Dead party. This November 1 Mexican holiday honors the cycle of life and death. It welcomes deceased ancestors for a yearly visit and uses skeleton-shaped foods, not to scare the living but to celebrate the dead. Serve a mole, a chicken stew with chocolate, bread of the dead shaped like a skeleton, and spicy hot chocolate with cinnamon for a drink.
5. Hayride party. An increasing number of farms have gotten into the Halloween spirit by offering hayrides, cornfield mazes, pumpkin patches, even hay-bale courses for kids to ride tricycles through. Find a farm in your area that has autumn activities and have a great day with your children and their best friends.
6. Halloween barn dance. It’s the right time of year for bales of straw for seats, pumpkins and corn stalks for decorations, and country music for getting your feet going. Join your friends to rent a hall and hire a trio of musicians, and a caller to get the dancing started. With a caller, even beginners can twirl like pros. Serve cider, beer, and chili and have a ball.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.