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What Your HR Person Won’t Tell You About Being Fired

How to avoid getting a pink slip, how to know when it’s coming, and what to do when you’re shown the door.

Condensed from Reader’s Digest Magazine | April 2011

HR pros reveal how to avoid getting a pink slip, how to know when it’s coming, and what to do when you’re shown the door.

Plus: 10 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Loses Their Job

1. “If there was someone we no longer wanted at the company, we’d give him all the worst assignments on impossible deadlines, set him up to fail, and document that. After a few months, we could safely terminate him.” –Cynthia Shapiro, former human resources executive and author of Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know

2. “If we ask you to travel for your job or attend a conference, it’s not really a question. Say no, and it can be career-ending.” –Laurie Ruettimann, HR consultant and speaker in Raleigh, North Carolina

3. “If you’re put on a performance-improvement plan, you’re cooked. I might look you in the eye and say we’re going to do everything possible to make this work, but that’s just total BS.” –HR director at financial services firm

4. “I once had to fire someone with four kids right before Christmas. When he asked me why, I couldn’t tell him it was because he said something in an all-company meeting that the CEO took as in insult.” –Cynthia Shapiro

5. “If you’re a high-level employee and they put you on a special assignment and take away other responsibilities so you can focus on that ‘special assignment,’ start fixing up your résumé, because you’re on your way out the door.” –Suzanne Lucas, a former HR executive and the Evil HR Lady on bnet.com

6. “When you get laid off, you’ll probably get a separation agreement in which you agree not to sue. That document is what allows you to negotiate, so before you sign it, ask for more severance money, ask for more COBRA, something. The worst thing they can do is say no.” –Cynthia Shapiro

7. “Always apply for unemployment, because the state makes the decision, not the company, and often the company won’t bother to fight it.” –Suzanne Lucas

8. “The worst feeling in the world? Going into the ladies’ room and seeing nine people you know who won’t have a job in a week and having to act normal.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

See also: What HR People Won’t Tell You About Your Résumé, What HR People Won’t Tell You About the Job Interview, What HR People Won’t Tell You About Salaries and Raises

Plus:
Surprising Field Where Job Opportunities Abound
What Job Will You Be Most Successful At? Your Contribution Style Will Tell

Your Comments

  • Smart4077

    we always knew at my old job that HR was not our friend, no matter what they were always on the side of the managers not the employees.

    • C_wallenmeyer

      No they are protecting the companies’ interests and keeping them out of legal issues. Your meeting with them is nothing morevthan a fact finding mission to identify where the company may be legally liable. It’s not “human resources”

      • TA

        HR are filth, if they are representing the company and not the employees, then its certainly not humane and certainly not a resource. How about the scum department, thats more fitting.

  • Arubadooba

    HR = BS
    I  knew what was happening from the start: the manager whispering to my secretary, and when I walked in on them, he fumbled words and started the nervous whistling.  I guess they both figured that I was a moron and didn’t know their plan: fire me and give her my job.  The CEO and HR weren’t much better.  They used the classic rule book to get rid of me: make him hate his job so much he’ll want to quit, and since I didn’t quit or have a heart attack from their tricks and games, give him a severance package and apply for unemployment. 

  • Arubadooba

    HR = BS
    I  knew what was happening from the start: the manager whispering to my secretary, and when I walked in on them, he fumbled words and started the nervous whistling.  I guess they both figured that I was a moron and didn’t know their plan: fire me and give her my job.  The CEO and HR weren’t much better.  They used the classic rule book to get rid of me: make him hate his job so much he’ll want to quit, and since I didn’t quit or have a heart attack from their tricks and games, give him a severance package and apply for unemployment. 

  • Arubadooba

    HR = BS
    I  knew what was happening from the start: the manager whispering to my secretary, and when I walked in on them, he fumbled words and started the nervous whistling.  I guess they both figured that I was a moron and didn’t know their plan: fire me and give her my job.  The CEO and HR weren’t much better.  They used the classic rule book to get rid of me: make him hate his job so much he’ll want to quit, and since I didn’t quit or have a heart attack from their tricks and games, give him a severance package and apply for unemployment. 

  • Murphyajnjc

    I was let go after 20 years, they got rid of everyone that helped get the company built up from the start, sorry to see the way the company is doing now but it will not be around much longer with these new A holes running it. 

  • Andy

     When I worked for my cities billing office I got the feeling our HR didn’t like me too much, I explained to them on my first day (I was placed here as a summer program/job opportunity) that I have low iron and when cold I get tired and for them to not be surprised when I fall asleep. I ended up nodding off in front of a lecture I was receiving from one of the major HR folk. She was angry, even after I had explained myself, it was intentional since she was doing this so I’d be able to work with computers (since I’m good with them). Just wish they didn’t stick me in the only room with the AC below 60 degrees 24/7.

    • Andy

       wasn’t intentional* 

    • Julie

      I feel you .I,m angry at the fact my hr is full of BS to she said whats go on in her office stay there well that not true i had a meeting with my HR about my manager and the first thing she said was what we talk here stay in her office well every body no ever thing now she a lier she no better they us

      • Grammar Police

        Geezus, learn some grammar, how to spell and punctuate.

    • Jen

      I’m glad to know this happens to someone else. I don’t have low iron, but if I get very cold, I cannot stay awake at all. The thing is, I have been told that some places crank the AC to keep people awake (in meetings especially)!

  • Kathellen9

    typical BS, that’s why we have unions, karma will take care of the CEO who fired someone with 4 kids before Christmas because he felt “insulted” at a meeting.  Typical ego driven management. 

    • http://twitter.com/bungalows zoey

      If only karma was real!

      • nbsp

        Karma is one of the few things I have faith in.  I think a lack of humility blinds us sometimes to the evidence of it.

    • Mitch

      That CEO is your typical suit pu$$y who can’t do the job himself

    • Ron

      Yes, but that karma usually comes in the form of a workplace shooting.

    • Ron

      Yes, but that karma usually comes in the form of a workplace shooting.

  • Ohiopositive

    I think once upon a time, the HR group was there to help both the employee and the employer.  Obviously, based on the comments from the HR professionals, there is very little compassion or caring by many personnel directors.  Good to hear some inside info however. 

    • Julie

      that what i thought to but here where are doing are best anyway for pulling my 8hr and taking care of me

  • Walmart Sucks!

    Sounds like Wal-Mart Home Office.  Except that our HR department is full of lying, unethical snakes.  Don’t believe the BS you see in their commercials.  They’re full of crap!  Right, Becky?

  • hot hoosier

    I brought up an incident of breech of confidentiality regarding my supervisor to the H.R. director.  When I was asked to put everything in writing she then asked me what I wanted her to do about it!  When you have to advise H.R. what to do with a problem you have experienced – the company has a real problem on their hands!!  And needless to say my feelings were not that important to put an end to the problem.

    • Justsaying

      That’s what happened to me. I reported a harassment and I ended up the one being fired. Someone suggested reporting it to EEO because there were witnesses in my case but after the HR disillusion, is it worth it or will it at least help? I still remember what EDD told me, most big company like the one I used to work for don’t tell a lie and I asked her if she’s implying that I’m lying?

      It’s really difficult for employees to fight a system that’s really not there to help them.

  • Cooper

    Julie, I am very surprised you have not moved on to a much better job, perhaps in public service.

  • Cooper

    Julie, I am very surprised you have not moved on to a much better job, perhaps in public service.

  • Cooper

    Julie, I am very surprised you have not moved on to a much better job, perhaps in public service.

  • Anonymous

    Companies would do better to just get rid of useless HR people

  • Anonymous

    Companies would do better to just get rid of useless HR people

  • Anonymous

    Companies would do better to just get rid of useless HR people

  • Kelly

    HR keeps tabs on you, so I say you keep well documented files about you and your job responsibilities. I had a boss that was trying to fire me and he ended up losing his job because I had kept great records of what was going on. Believe me HR can work for you too (if you can put them into a corner). Having a co-worker verify your data is just another plus.

    • justsaying

      Thanks so much that will help a lot of employee.

  • Xyz

    The human resoure departmant is neither human nor a resource.

    • shesarge

      I agree. So true. Just there to look good, so they think.

  • Enigma

    24 years and 3 months for a business named Comdata – I remember many times sitting in a conference room while we were all being told who in the office was being let go. One day HR came calling to my work area – I looked around an realized eveyone was away – it had become my turn. I put my car keys in my pocket. They (HR) had the nerve to overnight me a company coffee cup that was at my desk along with a used toothbrush and almost empty tube of toothpaste. That business office was closed a couple of years later. 180 good people worked ther at one time. All the people who really cared and built that division up had been released or moved on. It was no longer profitable. Everything changed in a moment. Trust – never again. I am overly  cautious in all my actions.

  • Enigma

    24 years and 3 months for a business named Comdata – I remember many times sitting in a conference room while we were all being told who in the office was being let go. One day HR came calling to my work area – I looked around an realized eveyone was away – it had become my turn. I put my car keys in my pocket. They (HR) had the nerve to overnight me a company coffee cup that was at my desk along with a used toothbrush and almost empty tube of toothpaste. That business office was closed a couple of years later. 180 good people worked ther at one time. All the people who really cared and built that division up had been released or moved on. It was no longer profitable. Everything changed in a moment. Trust – never again. I am overly  cautious in all my actions.

  • rjohn smith hrhater

    two words.  HR A$$H0LEs………  all of them…  doesn’t this article prove no one should have anything but contempt and hate for them????  not of the human race…..   roast then all

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Prometheus-Deity/100001866483503 Prometheus Deity

    The most awkward feeling in the world?  Going into the men’s room at work and seeing 9 other guys.

  • Anonymous

    I had a boss who was the most HORRIBLE person on earth.  He was useless at his job, and he spent all his time trying to pin his failures on me.  I, unfortunately for him, got wind that he was trying to fire me.  The dumba$$ was stupid enough to ask me to check his emails all the time while simultaneously a) complaining about me to all of my co-workers by email (these emails I printed and saved just in case) and b) talking to HR about replacing me with one of his friends by email.  HR had informed him that, unless he had cause (which he did not), he had to lay me off, and he couldn’t replace me using the same job description.  That is what he WANTED to do, but I found another position with the company before he got his chance.  The best part?  He, and all of his friends, were fired within a year.  I’m still there and loving my new position.  LOL!  Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

  • Oldman

    So these people are all lying bastards. Sweet dreams, if you can sleep at night, and be sure to send me a postcard when you get to hell.

  • Zippy

    If nine ladies are hanging around in the restroom, no wonder they are getting fired.

  • Justsaying

    I used to be appreciative of human resources as being helpful to us employee but when I lost my job and didn’t even qualify for EDD (which I believe I have money too since I had been contributing for so many years) and then I read this article, I felt terribly sad and flushed back of those times before they told me I need to go and that resigning is better than being fired, made sense now that I was duped. Human resources is really for the company’s resources and not an employee’s help resource.

  • Jay

    I used to work in a corporate office and I quit a couple of years ago. Reading this reminds me why I am minimizing my lifestyle in order to never have to be in that environment again.  I don’t mind working hard but I hate the silly politics.  

    • Anonymous

      Absolutely agree, Jay.  Though we may not have as many “toys”, we have peace of mind.  Priceless.   My greatest wish in this life is to see what goes around come back around for those who easily be deemed “evil”. 

  • Anonymous

    That’s how corporation operate. You have to keep working more and more to keep the same pay/minimal raise. Be ready and always have a plan B. Dump them before they dump you. :)

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Divalive07

    I was working at a company and let them know on the application and also at the interview process. They understood that and I knew that they would do the background check. Well after my 37th day of employment which was yesterday they let me go saying that they did not know why I was being let go. Can I sue the company for wrongful termination, even though they knew about my background?

  • Divalive07

    I was working at a company and let them know on the application and also at the interview process. They understood that and I knew that they would do the background check. Well after my 37th day of employment which was yesterday they let me go saying that they did not know why I was being let go. Can I sue the company for wrongful termination, even though they knew about my background?

  • Peter Vandersteen

    Valvoline Australia has a HR Team that outlines the meaning of the word “unethical”. I was sacked because I asked to be under an award so my job was secure, 5 weeks later they got back to me offering me less money, rang and bullied me on the phone for having depression, laughing at the fact so i told them they didnt have the guts to come to my office to say this to my face. So i reported them for ethical breaching to Ashland, owners of Valvoline in America, as per company guidelines. I was sacked the following week, which was last week for misconduct. Ive got no money to fight them, and they know that.

    • Midas

      “Misconduct” seems to the word of the day for employers.  I was recently fired for misconduct, though no one said what that alleged misconduct was.  I have always lived a simple life and glad because I’m not desperate to find another job.  Fortunately, I was in school at the time, so I’m not putting the job down on an ap.  After all, what’s the worse thing that can happen?  Being fired?  I don’t care what happens anymore.  I worked for the biggest POS that was using me to train her on different software while at the same time she was criticizing me on every project for which she gave instructions.  Jobs have become pathetic.  I’m not playing the Susie Sunshine role–I’m not kissing up and as far as co-workers?  Be careful, very careful–most are snakes waiting to strike.  In this putrid economy, getting dirt on your co-worker and reporting back to the moron in charge is the norm.  If asked to resign, DO NOT!  Show me someone who has never been fired and I’ll show you a major s-u-c-k-u-p!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TX437RJK6QQPUANHEWFFGWZSIM S. B.

    A friend told me she was considering a career change so she could go into HR.  I laughed out loud and scoffed, “YOU can’t be in HR!”  She asked curiously why not?  I replied, “Because you have a SOUL.”  She did not go into the HR field.

  • Provs831

    HR is the only department in which the mistakes that you have made are not discovered about 80 % of the time unless there is a lawsuit which brings it to light.  It is the perfect place for an incompetent employee to be and still have a  job. The biggest obstacle to getting hired for the white male is reverse discrimination, and not a bad economy.

  • Jim777

    HR aren’t the ones firing people, they are just delivering the news. It’s the managers making the decisions; don’t believe anything else.

  • Mariceljones1

    There is no job guarantee now a days. Start a business a key. Pick you passion about.

  • Cmg

    I have been working for 35+ years and only came across 2 HR people in my entire career so far who were not totally worthless.  The HR function today is a glorified clerk position that knows nothing of substance regarding benefit or saving plans, vacation policies or virtually anything else except to “hire and fire”.  Many actually relish the “firing” part since they are “firing” employees that make more than they do, enjoying their “power” to do so.  Further, it is actually upper management using HR to do their “dirty work”; the entire relationship is dysfunctional and unethical, with HR staff selected purposefully for the “hire/fire” function -anything else they say to you is pure BS; they are NOT on your side at all and they don’t care.  Management no longer consists of the most qualified; it consists of the most RUTHLESS and UNETHICAL, usually eliminating any potential threat once they gain their new position.  They are not interested in the company, its success or its people; they are only interested in what they personally can grab and will do ANYTHING to maintain it . . . I know because I have been in management and have seen it go on in every management position I have been in; terminating honest, hard working people simply because they believe they may be a threat.  On RARE occasions a termination is justified and I have had to do it on two occasions (in 35 years); I have also been required to layoff staff (I NEVER let HR do it) ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS due to management’s incompetence, which I could see coming for some time but was not able to convince them otherwise (because they are infallable!).  In every case, upper management stayed in place or was rewarded!  Sometimes they even joked about it . . . they could care less.

    Are there any honest companies/management out there anymore?  I cannot seem to find them if they exist. . . .

    • Branin Ames

      NONE….and I’ve been working for 30 years. You can’t even imagine the corrupt stories I could bring to the board for hours on end. Good working people fired for the most bogus reasons, and then have a bad work record and ruining their careers because the next company that hires them will deliberately find a way to fire them because of their previous employment record. It’s freaking sad the state of how companies have changed in the last twenty years.

  • Czechster

    Worked for a company that let me go after six years of service. They got involved in the quality movement and ran up expenses pursuing the Malcolm Baldrige Award. They ignored the field personnel’s warnings. They declared bankruptcy a year after I was fired. Never ignore your customers and don’t kill the messenger.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/74EQTRF7OZ6YUFVQFUV7OCO4LE Wfl19

    i worked so hard at my job, and all I got was two days. two stinking pain staking days. finally got rid of me

  • Bb2000

    You all realize this is why our fathers and grandfathers formed unions at blue collar work places… Now the white collar workers are feeling marginalized, poked, prodded, antagonized; this article was proof. Time to stand up, and strike out; let employers know we are not going to take it anymore!

  • http://twitter.com/SweetingSamanth Samantha Sweeting

    I have actually seen #1 employed before….what should the person do? I mean in this economy? How can you quickly jump ship when you know what is happening? 

    It could be worse; this is only the second-worst job market this century. It could have happened to you during the Great Depression….:/

    • http://twitter.com/SweetingSamanth Samantha Sweeting

      As an after thought….it is sad that talent, ability, and skill have nothing to do with it. You get a bad boss and you are screwed. #1 happens or you go to a mandatory company event and #4 could happen on a whim.

  • http://twitter.com/SweetingSamanth Samantha Sweeting

    Oh….I’ve seen #5 done to an executive too! Poor guy. These things are mainly political.

  • Ihadmorals

    I had a perfect record at my job for the year and 6 months I was there,  I reported an unsafe  condition to the boss,  so it could be corrected and no one would suffer a write up.. instantly became the bad guy. last week I was suspended for 5 days, for not working off the clock,  yesterday I was fired for violation of drug policy.. keeping in mind  I was also tested yesterday and fired as the medical examiner  sealed the cup I used.  I know I’m clean but they  said  we where told you  use drugs..   on the good side of life  during my 5 day suspension I found a new job, I was going to quit 3 days later to start said new job.  Bad thing is I have a fired for drug use even tho results are not in.

  • shesarge

    I got terminated at my job after 22 yrs due to a procedure that I hadn’t done in 13 yrs., but was suppose to remember. My boss also got fired, but the lending officer who made the bad loan is still employed there today. The owners of the bank’s daughter didn’t like me (no reason), she didn’t know me. she got rid of alot of people who worked there for alot of yrs. I just pray for them, before it is to late. Very nasty language they all use. No respect, because they know they have money. I feel so sorry for people like this. I won and they lose. They even stopped me from drawing my unemployement. Said I did it deliberately. I said, I did what deliberately? They have all the $$$, so there was no use in fighting them.

  • Anna London

    I went to HR (for the first time ever) in relation to a dispute with a manager, thinking that they would at the very least be there to listen and provide impartial support…. Nothing could have been further from that.
    HR sided with my manager, they shouted at me and attempted to make out that I had misinterpreted everything.
    HR are nothing but bullies and liars as an extension of management to get rid of anyone who may be a threat to the company…ie (anyone honest)

  • Miranda

    All these negative comments… How many of you have tried to run a team let alone a company? How many of you have tried to get your co-workers to knuckle down and get the job done? How many of you wrote these comments on company time? Try looking at it through your bosses’ and HR’s eyes. There are many sides to this story.

  • http://twitter.com/silvershamrockd Camie

    The “ladies” interviewed are much too satisfied with themselves.

  • marcellestadler@gmail.com

    I HAVE JUST COME OUT OF A DH WHEREBY MY MANAGER AND HR REQUESTED MY TERMINATION ,ANY ADVICE IS WELCOME THE EVIDENCE AGAINST HAS LOOPHOLES AND MY MANAGER AND HR ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS