39 More Secrets Your HR Person Won’t Tell You

HR professionals reveal their insider secrets.

By Michelle Crouch

1. “The No. 1 thing in job security is your relationship with your boss. Even if he says, ‘I’m sorry I really wanted to keep you, but they made me lay you off,’ that’s almost never true. He probably made that decision.” –Cynthia Shapiro, former human resource executive and author of “Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know.

2. “If you’re accused of sexual harassment, even if you’re found to be not guilty, people will always look at you funny afterwards. It can kill your career.” –Laurie Ruettimann, HR consultant and speaker in Raleigh, N.C .

3. “Even in jobs where you test applicants and those with the top scores are supposed to get the job, I’ve seen hiring managers fix scores to get the people they like.” –HR representative in the manufacturing industry.

4. “If you have a question, come to my office. Don’t corner me in the bathroom.” –HR professional at a mid-sized firm in North Carolina

5. “Children and hobbies do not belong on a résumé. And never, ever say, ‘Now that my kids are in college, I’m ready to get back in the workforce.’ ” –HR professional at a mid-sized firm in North Carolina

6. “Someone might tell you to ‘Be yourself’ in the interview. Don’t be yourself. That’s the worst advice ever. We don’t want people who are neurotic and quirky and whatever else. All we care about is your skill and experience.” –Laurie Ruettimann, HR consultant and speaker in Raleigh, N.C.

7. “You’re right to be paranoid. The company is always watching you, and there’s a record of everything you do: every phone call, every text, every tweet and instant message. At most companies, they save that data forever.” –Laurie Ruettimann, HR consultant and speaker in Raleigh, N.C

8. “I was asked by one CEO to hire the long-legged girl with the long dark hair even though she didn’t have the right skills. Another time, I was instructed not to hire anyone with children because the company had too many people leaving for soccer games. That kind of thing happens all the time.” –Cynthia Shapiro

9. “I know many of you met your former spouse at the company. But the thing is, for every one of you, there are five people it doesn’t work out as well for. And your office romance can and will be held against you.” –Kris Dunn, chief human resources officer at Atlanta-based Kinetix who blogs at HRcapitalist.com.

10. “Many people think, ‘If I work extra hard, I’m going to get noticed.’ But it doesn’t work that way. If you want to advance, some of the responsibility falls on you to toot your own horn. Make sure your supervisor and your supervisor’s supervisor are well of aware of what you’re contributing.” –Michael Slade, HR director at Eric Mower and Associates, an integrated marketing communications agency.

11. “I know a lot more about you when you walk in the door than you realize. I’ll search for you on the web and often use my own personal network to do a pre-interview reference check.” –Senior HR Executive in New York City

12. “Generally speaking, you only put someone on paid leave if you’re pretty certain that they might be terminated from the company once you do your investigation.” –Kris Dunn

13. “Never accept the job immediately. Say you need to think about it overnight. Once you sign on the dotted line there’s no room for negotiation.” –A human resources professional in New York City

14. “If you get fired, don’t just stomp out and go on with your life. The company may be willing to give you some severance, especially if you can point to someone different from you who didn’t get as severe a punishment. Just saying, ‘Well, I talked to my attorney’ (even if you don’t have an attorney) can also give you some leverage.’” –Suzanne Lucas, a former HR executive and the  “Evil HR lady” on bnet.com

15. “If we ask ‘What salary are you looking for?’ say you’re flexible, or say it depends on the responsibilities of the job. Try not to name a salary unless we really push you, because that gives us a leg up in the negotiating.” –A human resources professional in New York City

16. “I’ve always hated the big United Way drive at work.  Not because of the United Way.  Great organization.  Because of the smell of solicitation in the air, and because we are usually in the middle of it.” –Kris Dunn

17. “Companies do have black lists. It’s not written down anywhere but it’s a list of people they’d be happy to get rid of if the opportunity arises. If you feel invisible, if you’re getting bad assignments, if your boss is ignoring you, or if they move your office, you’re probably on it.” –Cynthia Shapiro

18. “I may say ‘I’m terminating you because you didn’t meet performance measures.’ I’m not going to say it’s because you’re a pain in the butt and piss people off every time you interact with them.’” –HR Manager at a healthcare facility

19. “I once had someone send me Forget-me-not seeds with their thank you note. Yes, thank me for taking the time, that’s great. But sending me seeds? That’s weird.” –Sharlyn Lauby, human resources consultant in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

20. “Don’t lie about your salary. Ever. Even if your employer doesn’t tell us (and most do), we’ll find out eventually. I’ve terminated two people for doing that.” –A human resources professional in New York City

21. “One time a candidate sent – I love this – a thank you card with a professional picture of herself, which quite honestly became the running joke for weeks. The picture was blown up and posted in my office with hearts drawn around it.” –HR director at a financial services firm

22. “Don’t ever tell me that you have to have this job because you’re going to lose your house, your kids have nothing to eat, your mother has cancer. Companies aren’t a charity.” –Suzanne Lucas

23. “Networking does not mean using Facebook or Linked In. It means going to events, getting your face in front of people and setting up informational interviews.” –A human resources professional in New York City

24. “We get résumés on fancy schmantzy papers. We get them with gold-pressed lettering. We get them in binders and in document protectors with ribbons. None of that sways me.” –HR Manager in St. Cloud, Minnesota

25. “98 percent of the résumés we receive when we post a position on a big jobs site like hotjobs, monster or careerbuilder are junk, people who are nowhere near qualified. We’ll get a guy who’s a bar manager applying for a director of public affairs position. Or a shoe salesman. That’s why we like posting jobs on websites that target specific industries.” –Michael Slade, HR director at Eric Mower and Associates, an integrated marketing communications agency.

26. “Your job isn’t safe just because you’re pregnant or a new mom. Lots of people get pink slips while they’re on maternity leave. Companies can do it as part of a larger layoff, include you in there and create a justification for it.” –Cynthia Shapiro

27. “Some companies do everybody’s raises on their anniversary dates. I’m not a fan of that because if the budget comes out in January, those poor people hired in December get, ‘Oh sorry, we’d like to give you more but we gave a huge increase to Bob so you’re just going to get 2 percent.’” –Suzanne Lucas

28. “I don’t lay people off at the end of the day because I think it’s rotten to get a whole workday out of someone, then lay them off. I always lay them off in the morning.” –A human resources professional in New York City

29. “I had somebody list their prison time as a job. And an exotic dancer who called herself a ‘customer service representative.’ ” –Sharlyn Lauby, human resources consultant in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

30. “It doesn’t take 40 hours a week to look for a job. So if you’re unemployed, do something: take classes, meet people, go to industry meetings, start a blog, read a book a week. Just don’t sit on the couch and eat Doritos.” –Ben Eubanks, HR professional in Alabama

31. “My Linked In profile is for myself, a way for me to find another job. It’s not a way to find a job with me.” –A human resources professional in New York City

32. “In interviews, everyone works well with others, and everyone learns quickly. Please tell me something else.” –HR manager in St. Cloud, Minn.

33. “I’ve seen managers not hire a woman because the environment is mostly male, and they’re worried that no matter how smart or talented she is, she won’t fit in.” –HR representative at a Fortune 500 financial services firm

34. “If it’s been a week or two and I tell you ‘I don’t have an update yet,’ that often means there’s a better candidate we’re talking to, but we can’t tell you that in case they decide not to take the job.” –Recruiting consultant Rich DeMatteo. Philadelphia, Pa.

35. “If you call to check on the status of your résumé  and I ask, ‘What job did you apply for?’’ If you don’t know, you’re done.” –HR professional at a mid-sized firm in North Carolina

36. “When we had someone go out on disability and we knew he was faking it, we didn’t want to go to court to prove it. So we put him on the end of the assembly line in a job where we knew he wouldn’t succeed. Eventually, we were able to fire him.” –HR pro at a mid-level staffing firm

37. “I have better things to do than deal with who slept with who, or who’s talking about you behind your back. Sometimes I feel like a high school guidance counselor.” –HR professional at a mid-sized firm in North Carolina

38. “Yes, I have access to everyone’s salary but I don’t look unless I have to. There’s nothing worse than having to reprimand someone, and then seeing they make $60,000 more than me.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

39. “Don’t stalk me.” –A human resources professional in New York City

Plus: Surprising Field Where Job Opportunities Abound What Job Will You Be Most Successful At? Your Contribution Style Will Tell

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    • Santo Champion

      i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted supreme spell temple for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he supreme spell temple casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you supreme spell temple for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact supremetemple@hotmail.com and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

    • sarah wilfred

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      My name is Rosie Smith. To cut a long story short I tried about 3 different spell casters over a period of 3 months and all they wanted was more & more money and kept coming up with excuses as to why the spell wasn’t working. Just when I was about to give up I came across several good testimonies of Dr. Oyinbo over the internet. I contacted him and he promised to restore my faith back into spell casters, that they are real and love spells do actually work. I was very sceptical after several scam spell casters. Mine wasn’t a simple spell but Dr. Oyinbo went above & beyond his way to look for extra money when extra work was required. Always called & txt on time. Replied to emails on time. Only asked for half the spell money as initial payment. My partner had walked out on me one day with no explanation …. I was devastated. When I was about to give up hope, Dr. Oyinbo words guided and encouraged me, and then he was back 3 days after the spell was cast. I recommend Dr. Oyinbo extremely highly. Dr.oyinbo you are a gifted man and I will not stop recommending him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. You can contact him on ( prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com or prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com) or call him +2348074066640. He is the best caster that can help you with your problems. He restored my faith and I AM FINALLY HAPPY.
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    • Beto Alenjradro

      My name Lucia (Ohio, USA) i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Dr DAGAMA who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to Dr DAGAMA and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address: drdagamalovespelltemple@gmail.com

    • katy

      Some of these things that are being said, just shows how immature and unprofessional management can be!!! Just sad that these people were entrusted with a position of power.

    • Leo Jennifer

      My name is Jennifer and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful DR PALOMA, a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through ***. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet DR PALOMA Email palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a 2das my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email: palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com

    • Shakes Spear

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