1. Hone your subject line. The key is to be specific, not necessarily short. Instead of giving your e-mail the name “Byrne project,” call it “Byrne project: new deadline for phase 2.” Your e-mail is already more interesting than most.
2. Don’t bury the lead. If you want to annoy people, make them read three paragraphs before you get to the point. If you want to rise in the company, state your purpose in the first sentence or two and then get to the why and how of it.
3. End with an action request. Example: “I will call you on Monday at 10 a.m. to follow up on this.” Or: “When can we get this done?” Otherwise, nothing is likely to happen.
4. Be human. Decent people who would never dream of being cold and abrupt in person often come off that way in their e-mails. Being businesslike doesn’t have to mean being impersonal. Remember that the sender and receiver are both human beings.
5. Proof your e-mail. It’s worth repeating. Just one misspelling, grammatical error, or typo makes you look foolish. It also makes you look disrespectful to the recipient. Sending clean e-mails automatically lifts you above the sloppy crowd.
6. Behave yourself. Irony doesn’t work in e-mails. Neither do sensitive subjects, such as sex, race, religion, and politics. Stay away from them, because every message you send is being judged.
7. Stop cc-ing everybody. All you’re doing is making all involved feel less important.
8. Pick up the phone. If you have to spend more than five minutes on an e-mail message, call instead.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.