Your doctor said he’d call Tuesday with the test results. It’s now Friday, and three voice mails later, still no word. The experts reveal the secrets to securing speedy callbacks:
If you’re phoning …
Someone you know, like your busy doctor or loan officer.
After several unreturned messages, Kim Mitchell, a Philadelphia public relations rep, says leave one saying you’ll be in the area and will drop by. When she tried this, her target called within an hour.
Someone you don’t know, like a new plumber or a contractor.
Spark their curiosity. One salesman says, ” ‘Hey, John, Ben Long in San Francisco. Had a quick question, give a call when you can.’ For some reason, they can’t stand not knowing who I am, and they call right back.”
And if you reach an assistant …
California PR rep Lea Yardum asks for the person by his first name, and frames it as a statement (“This is Lea Yardum calling for Bob”) rather than a question, which is longer. The assistant thinks you’re important, and you’re showing respect for his time. This ups the odds your message will get top priority.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.