It isn’t just your job: According to the UN’s International Labor Organization, Americans log in longer hours than any other workers in the industrial world. “Companies would take 24 hours a day if they could,” says Laura Stack, author of Leave the Office Earlier. Some tricks to reclaim your life:
1. Nix last-minute interruptions Close your door ten minutes before quitting, so co-workers with “emergencies” won’t drop by. Cubicle-bound? Turn on voice mail and put your bag and coat in a visible spot.
2. Map out tomorrow Before you leave, prioritize the next day. Plan important tasks for morning so you won’t buy yourself a late night.
3. Schedule personal time Block out “appointments” with your family, your gym or yourself. If someone asks to meet at six o’clock, you can honestly say you’re booked.
4. Minimize meeting time If only part of a meeting is relevant to your project, arrange to go first. Say you have another appointment you couldn’t reschedule or a pressing deadline (even if it’s just getting home on time).
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.