Following up on my previous post about some of the celebrities, thespians, and characters elected governor over the years, Loose Cannon takes note of the likely New Mexico gubernatorial candidacy of movie actor Val Kilmer. As a journalist, I can’t take sides in such races—but I’m happy to offer possible slogans to the Kilmer Campaign. (The lines, of course, come from Kilmer’s movie roles. I’ve even helpfully suggested the optimum context in which to use the quote.)

“I’m your huckleberry!” (To the voters of New Mexico, in his announcement speech.)

 “You can be my wingman anytime.” (To his lieutenant governor running mate.)

“I’m a fake hero.” (Modestly, to charm star-struck celebrity journalists.)

“You’re no daisy—you’re no daisy at all.” (Sternly, to hard-boiled political writers asking personal questions.)

“We all wear masks.” (To fellow Democratic gubernatorial hopefuls who question why an actor should enter politics.)

 “Not me. I’m in my prime.” (To critics who say his best days as an actor are behind him.)

“There’s a lot of unstable phenomena out there.” (While stumping for votes at the annual UFO convention in Roswell, N.M.)

“They can’t do anything to me, I’m a guest of the government.” (Assuring worried aides that it is all right to accept an invitation by extraterrestrials who stun the convention by landing a spaceship in Roswell.)

“What better job in all the world than to build a bridge?” (Vowing in his standard stump speech to run a positive campaign.)

“What an ugly thing to say. Does this mean we’re not friends anymore?”  (To a critical Democratic opponent during a debate in the Democratic primary campaign)

“Your leg, I’d like to break it.” (To a critical Republican debate opponent during a debate in the general election campaign.) 

“You’re my sun, my moon, my starlit sky!” (To Barack Obama, who comes to New Mexico to endorse Val at the annual July 4 parade and picnic in the town of Red River.)

“He’s down by the creek, walkin’ on water.” (To the traveling White House press corps, when asked where the president went after his July 4 speech.)

“It’s the car. Chicks dig the car.” (Explaining to his wife, on the way to his inauguration why so many beautiful women are lining the motorcade.)

“I’d better give them what they want. I promised my manager.” (Explaining to disappointed out-of-state supporters why he’s changed his mind and decided to cut taxes for New Mexicans.)

Here are the characters, and the movies—listed in order—that these lines come from: as Doc Holliday in Tombstone; “Iceman” in Top Gun; Jim Morrison in The Doors; Doc Holliday again; as the winged hero in Batman Forever; another Doc Holliday; as Simon Templar in The Saint; as Montgomery in The Island of Doctor Moreau; as Nick Rivers in Top Secret; as Colonel John Henry Patterson in The Ghost and the Darkness; Doc Holliday again; Madmartigan in Willow; another Martigan line; Doc Holliday; as Batman; again, as Nick Rivers.