Parenthood -- Put Into Words (page 2 of 2)

Pickles and Onion Rings

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle… call Mom.
-- Jennifer Garner in InStyle


We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller


Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett


Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
-- Erma Bombeck


Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
-- Fran Lebowitz


Motherhood is a wonderful thing. What a pity to waste it on children.
-- Judith Pugh


Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only his sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma.
-- Marlene Dietrich


Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
-- Garrison Keillor

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• Marriage Maxims
• Our matrimonial collection reflects on marriage's finest -- and funniest -- features.
• 
• Words for the Wise
• Savor our collection of sayings about the charm of old age.
• 
• Talking 'Bout Love
• Celebrate the feeling everyone enjoys falling for with this collection of love-inspired quotes.
• 
• Say It With a Smile
• Change your mood -- or brighten someone else's day -- with these inspirational words of wisdom.
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• Kidding Around
• Priceless parenting humor to tickle your funny bone.
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• The Joke's on Dad
• Double the fun of Dad's special day with our funny Father's Day jokes!
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• What Dads Are Made Of
• The three unique ways fathers contribute to childhood development.
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• The Perfect Childhood: Why It's Bad for Kids
• The harm in overpraising and overprotecting your kid.
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