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What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? "Hey, y'all ... Watch this!"Three things you'll never hear a redneck say:
You might be a redneck if you think the last words to "The Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
Good Question
Bob couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!
"This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?"
Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first."
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
"Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
The Usual Suspects
Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
The nurse said to the doctor, "There's an invisible man in the waiting room." The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him now."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."
Do you know about the two TV antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was terrific.
Do you know what you get when you play a country song backward? You get your job back, you get your house back, your wife back, your truck back ...
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