Del.icio.us
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
TwitThisGee, Thanks for the Help
43. For some reason, the bookstore clerk couldn't get the computer to recognize my preferred customer card. Peering over her shoulder at the screen, I said, "There's part of the problem. It shows my birth date as 12/31/1899.""That's right," my husband chimed in. "She was born in June, not December."
--M. Patricia Capin
44. At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport. He was told he would need a birth certificate, but his birth had never been officially registered.
When he explained his dilemma to the passport agent, the response was less than helpful. "It's all right," the agent said. "Just bring a notarized affidavit from the doctor who delivered you."
--Elgarda Ashliman
War Stories
45. Short and baby-faced, my buddy Wiggins had trouble being taken seriously in the Army. A mustache, he assumed, would fix that. He was wrong.
"Wiggins!" bellowed our drill instructor after spotting the growth during inspection. "What's so special about your nose that it's got to be underlined?"
--K. Trott
46. While my husband was stationed overseas, our four-year-old daughter decided that she needed a baby brother.
"Good idea," I told her. "But don't you think we should wait till your father's home?"
She had a better idea. "Why don't we just surprise him?"
--Kay Schmidt
47. During basic training, our drill sergeant asked all Jewish personnel to make themselves known. Six of us tentatively raised our hands. Much to our relief, we were given the day off for Rosh Hashanah.
A few days later, in anticipation of Yom Kippur, the sergeant again asked for all Jewish personnel to identify themselves. This time, every soldier raised his hand. "Only those who were Jewish last week can be Jewish this week," declared the sergeant.
--Allen Israel
48. Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him.
"I'm going to be away for a long time," I told him. "I'm going to Iraq."
"Why?" he asked. "Don't you know there's a war going on over there?"
--Thomas Cioppa
49. When I worked as a medical intern in a hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent. It took a while before I understood that he had no health insurance. Since he was a World War II vet, I had him transported to a VA hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.
The next day, my patient was back, along with this note from the VA admitting nurse: "Right war, wrong side."
--M. Murray
50. Few people outside the military know what a quartermaster does. So during my aircraft carrier's Family Day, I demonstrated a procedure called semaphore-I grabbed my flags and signaled an imaginary boat.
When finished, I pointed to a little girl in front and asked, "Now do you know what I do?"
"Yes," she answered. "You're a cheerleader."
--Danny Sullivan
8 Warming Soup Recipes
Video: Expired Foods in Your Supermarket
4 Ways to Strengthen Your Immune System
Joke: The burial service for the elderly woman climaxed with…
Advertisement 
