From Got a question? E-mail Jeanne Marie Laskas at advice@readersdigest.com. Sending gives us permission to edit and publish.
Question
I have been dreaming about my high school sweetheart lately. I am married, with a child, but I never got over him. To make matters worse, I know that he still thinks about me. I love my husband, but I have to know: Should I risk my marriage on a possibility or stick with a sure bet?
-- Confused
Dear Confused,
We never get over our high school sweethearts. Back then, passions were strong, attachments pure, and lives uncomplicated, and those earliest loves remain forever young. Add a few years, a few disappointments, a few kids, and a few gray hairs, and those times seem almost unbearably sweet. The best way to have that love forever is by remembering it as it was. The best way to lose it would be to reconstruct that time of your life. Listen, you love your husband-so love your husband! Count your blessings. Let the past go.
Question
During a surprise visit to my sister's house, I was horrified to find that she's become a hoarder, turning her house into a veritable junkyard. She's very responsible-a registered nurse, a great mother-and she's single again, and the kids are grown. She's helped me all my life, through thick and thin, and now I want to help her. What can I do?
-- Worried Sis
Dear Sis,
Are the newspapers piling up in the belief that someday they'll be read? Are old frozen dinner and Chinese food containers littering a shelf because they might be needed in the future? Is the home so full of trash, there's nowhere to sit? If so, get her professional help pronto. But if not, keep this in mind: One person's clutter can be another person's comfort. Sister Stuff may like living alone and finally having the freedom to surround herself with trinkets and memories. If she's happy and in no danger, let her be.
Question
My husband's coworker wants to socialize with us. The truth is, we aren't interested. He and his wife are perfectly lovely, and my husband gets along with him at the office. But we would prefer to leave it at that. We have politely declined so many times that it's getting awkward. Any advice?
-- Just Work Buddies
Dear Buddies,
You can keep declining and hope they get the hint. But here's a better option: Lie. Have your husband throw you under the bus (what are spouses for?) by saying something like "My wife is so busy with work/ family/whatever, we don't have time to socialize." I don't like lying, but in this case, it's better than the brutal truth, which is "Look, we really don't like you people."
Question
I'm a guy, and my best friend is a girl who is leaving for college. She's sweet and makes me laugh. Here's my problem: I've fallen in love with her. I want to tell her, but I'm afraid of making things weird between us. I don't want to lose her as a friend.
-- Hopelessly in Love
Dear Hopelessly,
Sorry, but things are already officially weird between the two of you. A mutual friendship is now a one-sided love relationship. If you are really friends, you'll be able to talk this over and come up with a solution.
Question
My stepdaughter is getting married and has asked her father to provide the music. My husband has decided to go one step further: He wants to play drums with the band … all night. Am I wrong in thinking that the father of the bride should act like the father of the bride and not the hired help?
-- Partnerless
Dear Partnerless,
Sweetheart, this is not your wedding. The bride and groom get to plan the party. And if she's fine with Daddy playing Ringo for a day, don't get in the way! Tap your foot, and applaud their special connection!
Question
Because he's done well in business, my brother-in-law is quick to pick up the tab. Whether we're dining out or renting a beachfront home, he won't take our money. I appreciate his generosity, but c'mon, we can afford to pay our own way. How do we tell him "Enough is enough" without hurting his feelings?
-- Uncomfortable
Dear Uncomfortable,
Too much giving? What a wonderful reason for family strife! You do your brother-in-law a disservice by attributing his generosity to his business success; maybe he just enjoys sharing with his loved ones. Maybe the rest of you do too. Next time you go out to dinner, outwit Mr. Generous: Arrange with the restaurant manager in advance to put the tab on your credit card.
Question
I would like to know when it became acceptable to bring dogs into grocery stores. Seeing Eye dogs? Okay. But schnauzers? At the market the other day, I watched as a woman leaned over the produce, oblivious to the fact that her dog was licking the cucumbers. Why don't people leave their dogs at home like I do?
-- Pet Peeved
Dear Peeved,
Something is going on when it comes to pets and public places, and as the biggest dog lover in the world, I want to put out a plea to pet owners: Even though your dog is in every way a member of your family, please remember that a dog is still a dog. Be considerate. People first, people!
Life's Little Etiquette Conundrums
You invite guests over for dinner with explicit instructions not to bring anything. Nada. Not a crumb. You then spend half a day making a crème brûlée. When your guests arrive, they come bearing a gift: a gorgeous tart from the local gourmet store, one-upping your effort. What gets served?
Both, I'm afraid. It's rude of your guests, but now they're your guests, so the burden is on you to not spoil everyone's appetite with a competition over whose drop-dead amazing dessert gets center stage. Serve two, and enjoy the company.
I say, just put the fancy dessert away saying, "Thank you so much, we will certainly enjoy this later!" Be sure to send a thank you note stating how great it was and how much you enjoyed it. A gift of food or drink does not require consuming it that night. You can do that for wine, and you can do it for dessert.