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8 Marriage-Busters to Give Up Today

We'll say it straight up: There's no good reason in the world to hang onto these habits. They aren't helping.

Nagging
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1. Nagging, nagging, nagging. We know about the squeaky wheel, but complaining loud and long gets you only short-term gains and builds up powerful discontent on your spouse's side.

Blaming and Criticizing
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2. Blaming, criticizing, and name-calling. These tactics belittle the person you promised to love, honor, and cherish; let you play angel to his or her devil; and don't address the responsibility you both share for your marital happiness.

Bullying and Selfishness
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3. Bullying, rudeness, and selfishness. These ugly power plays tell your partner that he or she doesn't count at all in your eyes.

Peacekeeping
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4. Peacekeeping and passive placating. A "whatever you say, Dear" attitude may keep your home quieter but leaves you in the martyr's role. You'll end up angry, defensive, and a drudge. What fun is that?

Being Too Logical
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5. Deploying logic all the time. Life isn't the starship Enterprise; playing the dispassionate Mr. Spock not only cuts you off from your feelings but also subtly tells your spouse that his or her feelings don't count either.

Distracting
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6. Throwing up distractions. You're just having fun, right? Think again. Being hyperactive, fooling around all the time, and refusing to focus -- in conversation or in life -- often is an attempt to avoid intimacy or difficult issues, which can be horribly frustrating for your mate.

Stonewalling
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7. Stonewalling. Another stall maneuver, stonewalling stops arguments and constructive discussions cold. Not much can happen when one spouse just won't talk about it.

Joint Decision Making
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8. Making unilateral decisions about the big things. Sometimes you have to pick the bathroom paint color on your own. But if you're making major decisions about your money, your time, your kids, and your family life, you're acting without accountability and cutting off the possibility of joint decision-making and deeper intimacy.

Comments :
By kaly, 09/07/2009, 4:39 AM EDT

Who cares!!!­ My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He ­ is eight­ years older than me, lol. We met online at __ ­­ AgelessFriends.com __ a nice place for ­­ Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and­ Younger­ Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you­ wanna­ check out.

By Dirk the Supreme, 08/13/2009, 11:38 AM EDT

I'm sorry, but I can't believe they didn't include the most important rule: Don't use sex as a weapon!!!! Withholding sex, or trying to tie sex to behaviour modification, will ruin what should be the way a couple shares intimacy in their relationship.

By MelodyP., 07/28/2009, 5:17 AM EDT

Yeah, I am an a-hole sometimes. When my husband is not around, that's when I realize how much I appreciate him. It makes me more aware of the things I can't take back.

By JackieHandunge, 07/11/2009, 12:38 PM EDT

Great advice, for more information on living a balanced and healthy life, would like to recommend this site - http://www.bizymoms.com/familylife/index.html Useful information and advice to help you improve your family life.

By MzChris, 03/23/2009, 3:29 PM EDT

These behaviors can be un-learned. It takes WORK to make a relationship healthier. Go to a professional, whether clergy or a behavioral therapist. Don't depend on friends' or family members' viewpoints.

By zhangqian, 03/10/2009, 2:29 AM EDT

I cannot agree more. However, Sometimes there is this triggering feeling popped up to my mouth and can not help refraining.

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