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Zen Secret #1: Watch your breath. Feel your attention drifting away? Take a moment to pay attention to your breathing. After a few breaths, also notice how your body feels. This technique can also help you relax.
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Zen Secret #2: Just feel it. The next time you hold hands, kiss, or make love, focus your attention on the physical sensations you're feeling. If you find yourself getting distracted, gently return your attention to the physical world.
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Zen Secret #3: Put your cares on an ice floe. The next time you and your spouse do something enjoyable together—whether it’s sharing a meal, heading out for a date, or taking a walk—banish distracting worries ahead of time. Beforehand, sit quietly for five minutes, close your eyes, and think about the things that worry or preoccupy you and that could divert your attention during your outing. Then imagine loading your cares onto a drifting ice floe in the Arctic Ocean for the next hour or so. Promise you'll come back to reclaim them later. The technique will help you relax and focus on couple time.
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