From Back in the Game of Life
We all talk about making the best of a bad situation, about turning tragedy into triumph, picking up the pieces and moving on. But if you want a role model, look at Katie Couric.Almost everyone knows her story: how a bubbly, middle-class kid from Arlington, Virginia, got a shot at the big time as a substitute host on Today. How her sharp interviewing skills and infectious smile won over audiences, and then the NBC brass. And how in 1998 tragedy struck when her husband, attorney Jay Monahan, died of colon cancer at the age of 42, leaving Couric with two young daughters and a broken heart.
Now for the news. In the six years since Monahan's death, Couric has gotten back into the game of life. She's found romance again with television producer Tom Werner. And she's continued to excel professionally, recently landing a record $65 million contract. But most important, she's turned into a genuine lifesaver. Using the bully pulpit of Today -- she had her own colonoscopy on the show, live -- Couric has urged millions of people to get tested for colon cancer. A medical study showed this "Couric effect" drove up colonoscopy rates by 20 percent. And in March, Couric cut the ribbon at the opening of the Jay Monahan Center for Gastrointestinal Health in New York City. Principally funded by the National Colorectal Cancer Research Alliance (NCCRA) and the Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF), the premier show business charity organization, the center offers patients a comprehensive approach to the prevention and treatment of gastrointestinal cancers.
Bursting with pride over the Monahan Center opening, Couric sat down with Reader's Digest to talk about her work, her family and her life.
RD: Was launching the NCCRA shortly after Jay's death a way of helping you cope?
Couric: One of the things people will talk about if they've experienced a terminal illness or tragedy is the sense of being powerless. That's a very difficult thing to manage, especially if you're a can-do person or a bit of a control freak. This was a way for me get back some control -- and perhaps save other people.
RD: What's the aim of the center?
Couric: I realized after Jay lost his battle how traumatic it was for him simply being treated for the disease. There are a number of people who care for you -- a clinical oncologist, gastroenterologist, radiation oncologist, even an ophthalmologist, because at one point Jay had a tumor behind his eye. Most of our doctors were very compassionate, but every time we had a problem, going to another specialist in another location was unnerving.
We wanted to create a comprehensive team approach in one place, where you could find out about clinical trials and they could translate the medical-ese, a place that could give you options -- that would be warm and welcoming in a time of crisis.
RD: Are we making any progress in preventing colon cancer?
Couric: We've increased the rate of colonoscopy screening by 20 percent, and you don't realize how many saved lives that translates into. Sometimes people go to the doctor and say they were referred by Katie Couric. They don't know me, but it's like I'm their friend, and I told them to go. I feel like I'm the resident fishwife, or nudge, with my rolling pin, saying, you have to do this. But I'm happy that people are doing it.
RD: What are the risks for developing colon cancer?
Couric: As many as 30 percent have a family history. For the rest, it's the first time in a family. People think, This isn't in my family, I don't have to get screened. Guess what? It was not in Jay's family either. Everybody needs to get screened, no matter what. It's the No. 2 cancer killer in this country after lung cancer.
RD: Why did you believe it was your job to take on this disease?
Couric: It wasn't even a decision. I had a show. Millions of people watched me. I felt like I had so much important information, and if I let that opportunity pass by, I would feel like I was being almost criminally negligent in not educating people. What was I supposed to do? Go along my merry way and let 57,000 people die every year of colorectal cancer?
RD: You recently also lost a sister to pancreatic cancer. Do you find strength in faith?
Couric: I was raised a Presbyterian. I think my faith has been tested. For a period I was really angry. But I'm coming back to the fold. I go to church, which gives me a moment to be contemplative and to take stock. I admire people who have a deep, abiding faith. But I think it's hard when something terrible happens, and you can't understand why a benevolent God would allow it. There's so much suffering.
RD: How have your kids dealt with the loss? How are they coping?
Couric: My No. 1 goal after Jay died was to make sure my kids got through this as healthy and whole as possible. And I think they're doing really, really well. I remember when Ellie was nine, she said to me, "Mom, I'm so proud of everything you're doing with colon cancer." Carrie wrote a little paper in second grade about the Jay Monahan Center. They don't have their dad but they do have a legacy. And it's through their loss that other lives are being saved. Somehow, even though that's a sophisticated notion, they get that. What better lesson can you give a child than that you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try to learn from the experience and make something positive come from it?
RD: Has your professional success surprised you?
Couric: I feel like I've accomplished a lot, but this is not the stuff that makes you happy ultimately. It's your relationships, your children, giving back, and all those things that sound so corny. I love having an exciting professional life. And it has well exceeded my wildest expectations. I still think it's hilarious. Sometimes I'll talk to people I knew early on in my career, and we'll say, "Can you believe this happened?" Is this the weirdest, funniest thing in the world that I am this person? Who'd of thunk it, seriously?
RD: Is there anything you miss in life because of your work schedule?
Couric: I go to bed at around ten, and I get up around five. I miss having breakfast with my kids and walking them to school. And sometimes it would be nice to go out at night and not worry about getting home early. But Jane Pauley always said this is a fantastic job if you have children, because you're not getting home at 7:30 at night. We almost always sit down and have dinner together as a family.
RD: Have you ever done something embarrassing on camera?
Couric: Twelve years ago, I interviewed this comedian named Bobcat Goldthwaite, and he's a screamer, and I didn't realize that was his whole shtick. I kept asking why he was screaming. And people thought I was really an idiot.
RD: How do you go from interviewing Donald Rumsfeld to doing ...
Couric: A cooking segment on the Chinese New Year? I think that's part of the fun of the show. You get to switch gears constantly. And you have to be interested in a lot of different things, from the latest in summer shoes to what's going on at the UN to a new drug for Alzheimer's. But I've always had a strong natural curiosity.
Born on a Sunny Day
RD: Any plans for you to go to Iraq this time around? You went during the Persian Gulf War.Couric: Twice. That was in my younger days. Now I just wouldn't risk it. It's too dangerous. I'm a single parent. There are things I will not do for my job, and one of them is risk my life.
RD: Tell us about the children's books you've written -- The Brand New Kid and a new one coming out in the fall.
Couric: It's called The Blue Ribbon Day, and features the same protagonists, Ellie and Carrie. Gee, I wonder where I got that from! The first book was about how to embrace somebody who's different. My second -- it's hard, growing up, to accept that you're not good at some things. Sometimes in this day and age parents don't allow their children to fail. They want them to be good at everything. That's a great goal but not necessarily realistic. Sometimes the more important lesson for a child is dealing with disappointment and finding what you're good at.
RD: How do you fit it all in?
Couric: You should talk to women who work seven in the morning till nine at night, and don't have help and take their kids to day care and come home, cook dinner. I'm lucky because I can afford to have a fantastic nanny and someone who helps me around the house. We're like our own little unit. It's not like I'm so stressed out.
RD: Do you ever just want to not work?
Couric: I would love it for a few weeks, but I think I would absolutely go crazy. I'm one of those people who thrive under pressure. I could never be somebody who plays tennis and meets somebody for lunch and does charity work.
RD: Are you an overachiever?
Couric: I'm a person who likes to stay busy. I have a hard time relaxing, which is a problem. I need to work on that.
RD: What will your next act be?
Couric: I wish I knew. At some point, I'm going to want a new challenge. But it's hard, when you love your job so much, to think about a) giving it up and b) what's next. I do want to make sure that I'm out there doing some good in the world.
RD: What about politics?
Couric: No. I have too many skeletons in my closet.
RD: Your sister was in politics.
Couric: She was a state senator, the real star in my family. Everybody said she would have been the first female governor of Virginia. She was a very dedicated public servant. But I don't think that's my thing. I have a hard enough time balancing my checkbook, much less balancing a budget.
RD: You got a rather large salary increase recently. Are you still really frugal?
Couric: I still like a bargain, but I'm a little more relaxed about it. My friends will tell you I give much nicer presents now. And I don't necessarily get everything on sale.
RD: You finally realized you had enough money in the bank to cover your kids' college tuitions?
Couric: I think it's fear of being flashy that's kept me from spending money freely. I love nice things, but I try to be smart. Like, an Hermès Birkin bag. I thought, Gosh, I want to buy a nice purse for myself on my birthday. I like that Hermès bag. Then I found out that it was $6,000. There's something about that I find just gross. If that means being frugal, then I guess I am. Having a certain bag or a certain kind of car -- I've always been a bit of a reverse snob in that department. I say to Ellie, who is going through a label phase, the coolest people don't need labels. They make their own style.
RD: Have you always had an upbeat personality?
Couric: Jay used to say I was born on a sunny day, which I thought was the sweetest thing. I'm definitely a glass-half-full person, and I've certainly gone through my share of sadness.
RD: Do you ever feel you've had more than your share of hardship?
Couric: No. There are plenty of people who have had more sadness in their lives than I have. I look at people who have sick children, and I don't know how they get up in the morning. I was always an empathetic person, but going through what I have has made me realize how many challenges people face all the time.
RD: You seem to have fully regained your enthusiasm for life -- you've even gotten back in the dating game. What advice would you give to others who have lost a loved one and are having a hard time moving forward?
Couric: Life is short. Thomas Jefferson said something like, Life is for the living. I think to destroy two lives when one has been tragically taken is just a shame. We're all terminal. I would say, "Try to find love again."
RD: Tom Werner's in L.A. You're in New York. How do you keep a bi-coastal relationship going?
Couric: It's tough. We both have busy lives; we see each other when we can.
RD: Do you see yourself marrying again?
Couric: If anyone's the marrying kind, it's me. I hope one day I will. I like the idea of being part of a happy family, but I've made a different kind of family for myself and my girls.
RD: How would they feel about that?
Couric: I feel like they're thriving and will be fine either way, which is a great thing to be able to say. But I think the addition of a strong man to help guide and teach them would be a wonderful thing. We're in a very female-centric home. We have a lot of estrogen floating around our apartment. That's why we got a male dog, because even our hamster was female. But anyway, the girls are doing great, and whatever happens, happens. I try to be sort of Zen-like about it.
The nonprofit Entertainment Industry Foundation raises money for several charitable programs, including the National Colorectal Cancer Research Alliance. For more information about EIF, the NCCRA or colorectal cancer, go to eifoundation.org.